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How Was Your Trip, Allen?

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Mcglothlin: “In all my LSD sessions I would at some point start to go further with the drug only to be brought back by the feeling of needing to urinate.”

Kerouac: “When I went to pee I said to the toilet ‘It’s all your fault!’ and could never leave the group without feeling that they were still with me (in the toilet) … Finally I said ‘I think I’ll take a shit out the window’ in desperation, it was impossible to go on in such ecstasy and excitement.”

Ginsberg: “Kerouac in his chair developed a very funny comedy of his own … his final statement being ‘I think I’ll take a shit out of the window’ which struck me deeply as being a final transcendental put-down of the whole appearance of things … Without moving from his chair he did it. [Leary’s note—“I don’t think he did!”]”

Metzner: “I pulled myself up and kissed [Lisa] and she turned away. I said: ‘That’s right, you’re married, aren’t you’ … Smells of incense and sex were in my nostrils … I felt like a whirling dervish, a possessed dancer, like the insides of a pneumatic drill or the semen about to be discharged in an orgastic penis.”

Weil: “The bastard [Metzner] was in the middle of a fantastic hard-on vision in which his prick was growing out of his navel and took on the dimensions of a skyscraper. He looked absolutely deliriously happy and I suddenly became extremely jealous … Karin came in once and kissed me.”

Metzner: “Karin said she would be back, but I said, ‘No, no, don’t leave’ … She went through the door and her leaving became the summary and climax of all abandonments and losses and I felt I was going to die.”

Olson: “Later I thought it was required to go into the bedroom and have sex with Tricia although I knew somehow I could not. I had a great deal of trouble getting my pants off and finally ripped them. Tricia kept saying, ‘You have to do something! Do something!’ … I later found myself in the living room with only my underpants on … I found a wet spot in the center of the bed.”

Ginsberg: “I got up out of bed and walked downstairs naked … pronounced my nakedness as the first act of revolution against the destroyers of the human image … and grabbed the telephone to communicate my decision—wanted to hook up [Khrushchev], Kerouac, Burroughs, Ike, Kennedy, Mao … Mailer in Bellevue, etc.—all on one telephone line and get them all to come immediately to Harvard to have spectral conference over the Future of the universe … Got as far as telling the phone operator I was GOD and wanted to talk with Kerouac … reached him and had a [very] expressive conversation.”

Perlongo:“This general quickening of reality led, particularly in the middle hours (the third and fourth hours after taking), to moments of deep self-realization … The question of What Is Life? Seemed to become a burning issue … I became sad because there was so much I did not know, so much I could not account for.”

Smith:“In this condition you discover who you are at base. In my case, family man, teacher, etc. At one point I felt certain I had come upon an important theoretical point regarding personality and its structure … Now I can’t recollect what it was.”


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