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Nitasha Tiku

  1. sound of da police
    NYPD’s 911 Response Time Is Slower Now Than in 2007On average it now takes the NYPD 8.4 minutes to respond to a 911 call.
  2. ripped from the headlines
    Another Alleged Sexual Assault Victim Comes Forward Against IMF Chief Dominique Strauss–Kahn“I mentioned the word ‘rape’ to make him afraid, but it didn’t have any effect.”
  3. the coming econopocalypse
    Citadel’s Kenneth Griffin Forgot He Was Speaking to a Room Full of Hedge Funds“That one landed with a thud.”
  4. the future is coming
    Apple Approved an Escort-Service App for the iPhoneSugarSugar helps people find Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby relationships.
  5. osama bin killed
    They Found Porn in Bin Laden’s Compound (a Lot of It)A common finding in terrorist hideouts.
  6. photo op
    Four Miles of People Is a Sight to BeholdProtesters march in Yemen.
  7. the minimumest wage
    Brooklyn Councilman Thinks Mayor Bloomberg Might Be ConstipatedA working theory.
  8. everything they touch turns to goldman
    Goldman Exec Says Enough Already With The Black Swan TheoryStop hoarding your cash and give it to Goldman
  9. the donald
    More Than 300 People Are Suing Donald Trump … for Being Donald TrumpA lawsuit over luxury high-rises.
  10. osama bin killed
    Bin Laden’s Diaries Say Joe Biden Wasn’t Worth The Assassination Attempt“You could describe him as a micro-manager.”
  11. everything they touch turns to goldman
    The Most Pontifical Metaphors in Matt Taibbi’s Latest Goldman Screed“Goldman isn’t a pudgy housewife who broke her diet with a few Nilla Wafers.”
  12. careless whispers
    The Softer Side of Steve Cohen’s Life of LeisureHe finds the Dutch Masters dark and ugly.
  13. white house the new class
    President Obama Asks Congress for an Extension on Robert Mueller’s FBI TermNational security shake-up gets thrown a curve.
  14. revolt like an egyptian
    NATO Strikes Qaddafi’s Compound Hours After State TV Tries to Confirm That He’s Still AliveIs Qaddafi still alive?
  15. private eyes are watching you
    Facebook Thought it Might Be Useful to Pay Ex-Reporters to Plant Negative Stories About GoogleBusted!
  16. america’s sweetheart
    We Practically Forced Sarah Palin to Make a Big Deal About Common Reading Poetry at the White House“It is just too easy.”
  17. taxes
    Senate Democrats Decide It’s Time To Do Something About Oil CEOs and Their Tax CreditsDemocrats take up a cause, other Democrats undermine it.
  18. manufactured controversies
    Things Get Racial Over Mrs. Obama Choosing Common and Jill Scott for a Poetry LineupMatt Drudge and Sarah Palin pick a Twitter fight.
  19. careless whispers
    The Mets Try to Get Out of Bed With Steve CohenBreakups are all about perception.
  20. osama bin killed
    The U.S. Has Osama Bin Laden’s Handwritten JournalSeized along with five computers and 100 flashdrives.
  21. osama bin killed
    Pervez Musharraf Admits Rogue Pakistani Officers Might Have Helped Hide Bin Laden“You want to alienate Pakistan, you will be a loser.”
  22. this! is! kind of scary!
    How Not to Run Meeting When You’re in Charge of a Nuclear Power Plant“By the way, we’re all gonna die!”
  23. good ship galleon
    Raj Rajaratnam is Found Guilty on All Fourteen Counts [Updated]He faces up to up twenty years in prison.
  24. revolt like an egyptian
    Have the Libyan Rebels Formed a Death Squad to Punish Qaddafi Loyalists?“This is a war of rumors.”
  25. osama bin killed
    Obama’s Outreach to Muslim World: Why Settle for Al Qaeda When You Could Have an Uprising?Al Qaeda: “What is coming is greater and worse.”
  26. the coming econopocalypse
    Attack of the Wall Street Zombies: Goldman Sachs’s Abacus and Too Big to FailSome things refuse to die.
  27. careless whispers
    Steve Cohen Will Not Be ‘Distracted’ by an ‘Intensifying Probe’Steve’s “pretty confident” he’s not getting charged with insider trading.
  28. private eyes are watching you
    Apple Goes to Washington To Insist ‘We Don’t Track Users’Locationgate, sort of explained.
  29. terrorble
    New York Will Be the First City in the Country to Text Emergency AlertsTexts from Barry.
  30. post-modern love
    The Birth Control Pill Hasn’t Done Lumberjacks Any FavorsThe pill makes “less-masculine men seem more attractive.”
  31. osama bin killed
    Pakistan Might Let the U.S. Interview Bin Laden’s WivesThis won’t help convince Pakistani citizens that we’re not in cahoots.
  32. osama bin killed
    Guardian: Pakistan Agreed to the Bin Laden Mission Ten Years AgoAs part of the deal, they agreed to protest vociferously when it happened.
  33. are you there google? it’s me margaret
    E-mails Show How Google Uses Android to Make Phone Companies ‘Do Things We Want’“This feels like a disaster :(”
  34. air travel
    People Went Crazy on Airplanes YesterdayPlease stop doing that.
  35. the coming econopocalypse
    Geithner Will Tell China to Raise Interest Rates So Consumers Will Spend, Not SaveSometimes it’s hard to form the words “currency manipulation.”
  36. stand clear of the closing doors
    MTA Plans to Replace MetroCards With Sensor Cards Linked to Your Bank AccountMetroCards are the new subway tokens.
  37. television-stained wretches
    Media CEOs Got a Big Fat Raise Last YearSurvey shows an 11 percent increase in CEO salary at the top U.S. companies.
  38. osama bin killed
    Pakistani Media Outs CIA Chief as Tensions With U.S. WorsenThe U.S. tries to interview bin Laden’s widows.
  39. terrible things
    Cholera Outbreak in Haiti Started With the U.N. PeacekeepersIt’s a “perfect match” for a strain from Nepal.
  40. cultural reappropriation
    SlutWalking: Coming Soon to a Town Near YouNot as slutty as it sounds.
  41. photo op
    Glenn Beck Draws Helpful Approximation of Osama Bin Laden Death PhotoBased on super-secret intel.
  42. party like it’s 1999
    ‘Facebook of China’ Stock Dive Might Make Mark Zuckerberg a Little NervousHow low can your stock go?
  43. loose lips
    Wall Street Journal’s WikiLeaks Clone Successfully Convinces No One to Tell Them Anything EverWe reserve the right to make you regret this.
  44. osama bin killed
    Al Qaeda Confirms Bin Laden’s Death; CIA Spied From High-Tech Safe HouseThe CIA had been watching bin Laden from a safe house nearby.
  45. careless whispers
    Insider-Trading Investigation Probes Steve Cohen’s ‘Big Book,’ But Not Steve CohenThere’s a whole lot of probing going on.
  46. private eyes are watching you
    Google Ad Leverages Adorable Asian Baby to Get You to Give Up Your DataThey are using blobs against you!
  47. let me upgrade you
    Mark Zuckerberg’s $7 Million Mansion Comes With ‘Privacy Hedges’Will the hoodie go next?
  48. revolt like an egyptian
    Hillary Clinton Brokers Deal to Fund Libyan RebelsUsing Qaddafi’s own assets.
  49. basic-cable-stained wretches
    MTV Networks CEO Rumored to Quit Over Reality-Show Craze She Helped SpawnAllegedly over a show called ‘Electric Barbarellas.’
  50. white men with money
    What Do Leonardo DiCaprio and Steve Cohen Have in Common?An auction at Christie’s.
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