Scotty is becoming an exact doppelgänger of George W. Bush. By the end of this season he will at least own a baseball team.
paul f. tompkins
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"But think of it, gentlemen: what if they sang a song from the year they will die?"
But first, let's get ready for the placement of some products!
"The top thirteen will be working with producers from Interscope records. This is a big deal, because the music industry is doing so great!?
"I don’t know why they can’t just stick to ten people. People like the decimal system; it’s comforting."
"I find it hard to believe all of these kids would be choosing stuff ever-so-slightly out of their range. But maybe they like a challenge! All of them!"
They pick their own songs. Is that good news or bad news?
We have our finalists, but Steven Tyler never masters the art of "Bad news ... you made it!"
The judges start to narrow it down to 24, and the task may break Jennifer Lopez.
I was relieved to see that the contestants are going back to singing individually, even though I knew I would not like most of their singing.
Why are they really doing this, I wonder? Is 'American Idol' broke, and they're subcontracting sleep-deprivation studies?
"327 contestants will parade across the stage, but only none of them can justify this arbitrary number of people."
"'Idol' wrote the book on milking it and must be rereading that book on a rainy day."
"I am starting to really kind of like J.Lo on this show. Wait, what did I just write?"
"Okay, Texas. This has gone on long enough. You can’t have both: Hats or belt buckles, time to choose."
He wonders whether the dueting exes are really suited for the reunion the judges hope and pray for.
Jerome Bell gets through with the loudest version of "Let's Get It On" you've ever imagined. That song is about sex, does he know that?
Randy has been joined by "former actress/eventual Zsa Zsa Gabor successor Jennifer Lopez, and a creature some say is a living candle, but whom I believe to be the Ghost of Steven Tyler."