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“It's rather like having a silly little dog who wants to jump up on your lap and you just swat the dog off. Occasionally in a very stern voice you have to say 'no.'” —Simon Cowell, on dealing with Ryan Seacrest [People]

“I think the public schools should be talked about every single day. And health care, and jobs. Plus, I don't give a damn about celebrities. So I'm probably not right for that show." —Roseanne Barr, on why she isn’t waiting for an invitation to join The View [TV Guide]

“The type of singing that they tend to do on American Idol is what I call ‘sodeling’—the combination of soul and yodeling. The thought that someone would be crooning away and sodeling on one of our songs seemed hilarious to me.” —Modest Mouse front man Isaac Brock, on giving the show permission to use “Float On” [Mercury News]

“Cops do it all the time. They'll just pull me over to hit on me. It's really annoying. They're like, ‘What's your phone number? Want to go to dinner?’… I have so many cops' business cards.” —Paris Hilton, on why it’s hard for her to stay out of trouble [NYDN]

“Everyone was acting like [cocaine is] done and it doesn't exist and yet it was in every bathroom at every party, it was all over the place. And how cool is that?” —Robin Thicke, explaining his song “Cocaine” [SOHH]
—Lindsey Thomas