Betty with Daniel Meade, sporting a shiner courtesy of violent drug thugs.Photo: Courtesy of ABC

Ugly Betty went for it last night. We’re talking three possible deaths, a prison break, bastard kids, violent drug dealers, bondage dungeons, hussy girlfriends, and the largest pair of boobs we’ve seen. Ever. Well done, people. We were almost riveted. But not so much that we couldn’t find this week’s crimes against fashion.

1. On TV, the brown girl must get ethnic.
Yes, Betty, rock that sombrero and vest. At fashion magazines, the few minorities on staff should always show their pride by sporting heritage threads. We’re sad they left out the piñata — why not go whole hog? And yes, our co-workers can expect us in a burka tomorrow.

2. Fashion editors are secret S&M freaks.
We actually have no argument here. Props to ball-gag usage!

3. Black is better
Oh Marc, how wrong we were. Yes, we laughed at Wilhelmina’s assistant’s blinding outfits. But then we saw him in all black, and, well, we were sad. Sure, we dress for funerals every day, but Marc? He needs that lime green, damn it!

Still, as always, the writers had some nuggets of pure beauty up their sleeves. Marc, unceremoniously fired from another job, said, “She simply put out a cigarette on my arm and said ‘Get out.’” We hate it when that happens. —Amina Akhtar