"Hey you, with the fake I.D.!"Photo: Getty Images

"You will come-to in front of your disappointed parents with a face full of Sharpie and the sneaking suspicion that you've been teabagged by one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people of 2007." —John Mayer warns underage drinkers about what will happen if they misbehave at future concerts [JohnMayer.com]

"We have an unusual relationship. We like each other's company." —Glenn Close on spending time with her 19-year-old daughter [PopMatters]

"I am not bfs w/ C Love, one night with her made me realise why Kurt killed himself." —Lily Allen, allegedly, in a MySpace message to a friend about a night spent hanging out with Courtney Love [The Sun]

"It's like asking a maggoty log if it would like to go to a woodpecker convention." —Neil Gaiman, when asked if he would attend Comic-Con if he didn't have anything to promote [HR]

'''You're adopted." —Amy Sherman-Palladino reveals (jokingly, we hope) the last line she would have written for the series finale of Gilmore Girls [EW]
—Hannah Tucker