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Keanu to Play Klaatu: Keanu Reeves has signed on to star in a remake of the 1951 science-fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still. To be more specific, Reeves’s face has been cast as the Earth. [Variety]

Hansen to Massacre Some More: Gunnar Hansen, the original Leatherface from the 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre, is set to star in the forthcoming Icelandic horror film The Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre. No, we’re not kidding. [Variety]

Logue Is Hackett: Former Grounded for Life star Donal Logue returns to Fox with the Barry Sonnenfeld–directed sitcom Hackett, which focuses on a “bad boy literary luminary” who must flee Yale in disgrace and teach in a public school. Wait, “bad boy literary luminary”? Maybe it’s set in the sixties or something. [HR]

No Cure Until 2008: The Cure have postponed the release of their new double album and the launch of their North American tour, set to begin this fall, until spring 2008. Thirty-five-year-old professional men and women across the United States who haven’t worn black eye makeup for more than a decade and a half are devastated. [Billboard]

Dark Horse Unleashes War Monkeys: Dark Horse Indie announces development of the horror property War Monkeys, which follows the travails of a janitor trapped in an underground lab over the Christmas holidays with military-trained Rhesus monkeys. Let’s review: Janitor. Trapped in underground lab. Must fight militarily trained monkeys. Over Christmas. Only the casting of Christopher Walken as the janitor could make this film any more awesome. [HR]