Orphan-Collecting for Fun and Profit: Madonna's fixing to snatch yet another fresh one from Malawi! The insta-English singer visited an orphanage in October and tried to adopt a girl named Grace, but the child's family objected. Determined to get another Malawian if it's the last thing she does, Madge has set her sights on a 13-month-old girl named Mercy. Take that, Angelina. [Telegraph]

Oh, Hell to the No: Bobby Brown whines to a judge about how former wife/crack buddy Whitney Houston has not allowed him to see their daughter since June 1. Actually, Bobby, that's what "sole custody" means. [AP]

She's in Touch With Kids These Days: An ever-sincere Amy Winehouse tells her father that she's sorry for causing such turmoil — and she delivers this news via text message. Which is what any wrecked 15-year-old would do. [Mollygood]

Yeah, But Your Girlfriend Still Loves Him: Mock-sensitive singer-songwriter James Blunt really does think you're beautiful — especially if you're a model, since he seems to be dating a new one. There's a lesson here: No matter how scruffy and scrawny you are, if you write the right sappy song at the right time, you can pull some serious tail. [NYP]

Searching for Understanding: Did you see John August's trippy flick The Nines? Yeah? Did you understand one damn bit of it? Us neither. Perhaps his audio commentary, now available for MP3 download, will at least enlighten us as to why Ryan Reynolds was even in this movie. [JohnAugust]