Courtesy of IFC Films

Barring any unforeseen catastrophes, Superbad, the widely acknowledged pinnacle of cinematic achievement, is a lock to dominate to box office this weekend, estimated to take in around $30 million. But, as we all know, self-explanatory numbers like this mean nothing until they're rigorously explained by Hollywood's most celebrated sayer of obvious things, our buddy Paul Dergarabedian.

Come Monday morning, what hackneyed bit of non-wisdom will P.D. drop on us? We couldn't wait to find out, so we're guessing in advance. Which one of Vulture's editors will come closer to the actual quote Deragarbedian will give to an undiscerning AP reporter this weekend? Our predictions, after the jump.

Catucci's prediction: "Superbad's performance at the box office proves, once again, that teen comedies are perfect summer fare — even this late in the summer."

Brown's prediction: "Superbad's box-office take is a sobering wake-up call to anyone that didn't know Americans enjoy penis humor."

As always, send your Paul D. sightings to vulture@nymag.com.