Jennifer Hudson in Sex and the City: Dreamgirls star Jennifer Hudson will play Sarah Jessica Parker’s assistant in New Line’s big-screen Sex and the City, proving once and for all that when you deliver a volcanic, Oscar-winning performance, Hollywood sits up, takes notice, and offers you every role that Wanda Sykes turns down. [Variety]

Campbell Gets Some Bad Love: Controversial filmmaker Catherine Breillat is now big enough to inflict physical and psychological abuse on actors we’ve actually heard of; she directs supermodel Naomi Campbell in an adaptation of Breillat's recently published novel Bad Love. [HR]

Bionic Woman Adds Quality: Friday Night Lights show runner Jason Katims will join the staff of NBC’s new series Bionic Woman as a consultant who will shape and write scripts, thereby ensuring a high-quality sci-fi update that critics will soon be begging you, in vain, to watch. [Variety]

Groff Lets Down His Hair: Spring Awakening star Jonathan Groff will play the lead role of Claude in the 40th-anniversary concert of the musical Hair, set to play later this month at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park. We don’t know if he’ll be naked. We said we don’t know if he’ll be naked, Spring Awakening fans! Back off! [Playbill]

VH1 to Air Spears Special: In a bid to be more deserving of the name “Vulture” than we are, VH1 will air a Britney Spears special Tuesday night looking back on the pop star’s “most shocking year ever” and including clips from her much-panned MTV Video Music Awards performance. Don’t you want to wait a month, VH1? See if she stabs a vagrant or something? [Variety]