The Eagles, Long Road Out of Eden

Official release date: October 30

We think: Vulture's Beatles, the Eagles, return with their first studio album since 1979! Surely these past 28 years have yielded a cornucopia of pent-up excellent material; this double album must include a "Tequila Sunrise," a "Take It Easy," and like six "Desperados," right? Sadly, no. Aside from the actually pretty excellent ten-minute title track (about the Iraq war which Don Henley calls "a bloody stupid waste"), nothing really holds a candle to the band's greatest hits. And some of these songs are really, really bad — "Busy Being Fabulous" and "What Do I Do With My Heart" are even worse than their titles.

Earlier: 32 Reasons Why the Eagles Are the Best Band in the Universe