Betty, behind you! It's the fashion police!Photo: Courtesy of ABC

Last week’s brilliant Betty was, alas, a fluke. We were duped, people. Duped! As we watched the latest episode, admittedly in a feverish haze (thanks influenza!), our hopes for a decent hour of TV were dashed. The high point: Harold's appearance as creepy Kenny the accountant. Genius casting, even if they do make him wear a sweater-vest. (Has anyone ever seen this many sweater-vests in one office?) But let’s get down to business before we throw up some chicken soup. We present this week’s crimes against fashion.

Too many trends can ruin an outfit.
Picture, if you will, a kind of cute cropped jacket, worn with a fairly wide belt over a floral dress. If you took just one of these items, your outfit would be okay. But no, Betty, you wore them all. And that dress? It’d look pretty on anyone else. Do they pad her body? Girl makes Quasimodo look hot.

Dress appropriately for dates.
Marc, who tricked us earlier this episode by donning a tame white jacket with black trim, morphed back into Crazy Patterned Gay Guy™ for his date. We’re talking a checked jacket, pink shirt, and purple bow tie. Marc, you are not Alber Elbaz. Put thy bow ties away! On a sadder note, Betty’s Internet date sneaked out after seeing her. But we couldn’t blame him.

Stereotyping models is getting old.
Okay, we get it. Models are like, rilly, rilly dumb, right? And male models are, like, even dumber! And so the hot guy puts his panties on backward. We get it. He’s dumb. Move on already.

We spent most of the episode fixated on Alexis’s boobs (someone please buy her a bra) and, oddly, Daniel Meade’s boobs. Are those pecs? Moobs? In any case, Wilhelmina offered up only one line of note this episode: “The first rule in ruining a magazine is not caring.” We have no idea what she’s talking about. —Amina Akhtar