Kingsley Shuttered: Ben Kingsley joins Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo in Martin Scorsese’s adaptation of the Dennis Lehane thriller Shutter Island. If too many more awesome actors join this cast, DiCaprio will have to quit at the last minute, forcing the filmmakers to hire Russell Crowe in a panic. [Variety]

Scott Dons Gucci: Ridley Scott will direct a Fox 2000 feature about the glamorous shenanigans of the Gucci family in the seventies and eighties. Look, if they’re gonna make this anyway, Scott gets credit for saving us all from the Joel Schumacher version. [Variety]

Cop Carr: Why, whoever should direct Mall Cop, the hotly awaited Kevin James vehicle about a mild-mannered security guard forced into action when thieves take over his mall? Why, Steve Carr, helmer of Are We Done Yet?, Daddy Day Care, and Next Friday! He’s our man! If he can’t make this the most idiotic waste of time inflicted on the American public in 2008, nobody can! [Variety]