At this time of year, nothing excites us more than receiving a holiday card from our pals at The Smoking Gun. Considering how they spend so much time trolling the country for embarrassing public documents, how is it that the TSG staff can also come up with such perfect gifts as Valerie Flame Hot Sauce ("It will blow your cover") and Bill O'Reilly loofahs ("Perfect for your Caribbean shower fantasies")? This year, we received some mug-shot temporary tattoos with this card:

Like us, you've probably wondered what it would be like to have Lindsay Lohan resting on your shoulder or Senator Larry Craig nestled against a bicep. Well, we're making those dreams a reality with these Celebrity Mug Shot Tattoos, the easiest way to temporarily get close to your favorite perp (without risking a messy restraining order) . . . . So just add water and you'll be able to put Paris Hilton's face where we all know it belongs.

Our intrepid colleagues tried out the tattoos, but no one at the office wanted Sen. Larry Craig. So merry Christmas, Dad! —Aileen Gallagher