Courtesy of Fox

Last night, Ryan Seacrest & Co. rolled into Charleston, South Carolina, to audition 10,000 American Idol hopefuls, none of whom will likely end up in the finals, or even the Top Twelve. Still, it was a good deal more entertaining than Tuesday's episode, thanks in large part to Jeffrey Lampkin, who, along with his sister, sang the heck out of an R. Kelly song. It wasn't "Sex Planet," "Ignition (Remix)," or "Feelin' on Yo' Booty" (it was "I'm Your Angel"), but, even so, we'll take it. Also, the judges rejected a reasonably talented Air Force pilot (who will probably now be shipped off to war), a girl named after Aretha Franklin gave us an earache, and Knoxville, Tennessee's most obnoxious prude taught us all an important lesson about abstinence.