C'mon, New Line, Just Release ‘Harold & Kumar’ Early

Courtesy of New Line
We were prepared to ironically love Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, but we didn't expect to unironically love it as much as we did. So between that and the unicorn, we were already pretty excited about its sequel, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. And now, the first review we've seen — in Variety — has us foaming at the mouth to see this movie. "Animal House meets Dr. Strangelove?" Are they kidding? A scene where Rob Corddry, playing the head of the Department of Homeland Security, wipes his ass with the Bill of Rights? We're totally in! When does it come out?
April 25?!
But that's forever! There is not a single movie coming out between now and then we want to see more than this. Why? Because Variety calls it "one of the ballsiest comedies to come out of Hollywood in a long time," and such is the genius of the Harold & Kumar franchise that this statement can likely be taken both literally and figuratively. Come on, New Line, release it this week! What do you have to lose? Your company's already being gutted!
Who's with us? Seriously, you'd rather see Horton Hears a Who this weekend?
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