"I did get my balls done, though. I got them unwrinkled. It's the new thing in Hollywood — ball ironing." —George Clooney [Esquire]

"Kathie Lee is not a total punchline, but when you're talking about her, you're treading on very identifiable cultural territory." —Dr. Robert Thompson, the founding director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University, on the rumors that Kathie Lee Gifford is joining the Today Show [NYP]

"We were tied in the fourth inning and someone cracked open a beer, and someone else goes, 'They're just drinking Red Bull on the other side! Can't it wait until after the game?' I was like, 'Come on! Who fucking cares! It's a beer!'" —Stephen Malkmus on being a rock star, playing in his softball championship game [17dots]

"I think when it comes into the final 12, they're all afraid to do one of my songs, so I would encourage one of the guys to take on 'Straight Up' or 'Cold-Hearted Snake.'" —Paula Abdul doles out some terrible advice to the contestants of American Idol [MTV]

"I know there's gonna be more chapters … Kels is crazy. Robert ain't wrapped too tight." —Michael Kenneth Williams on the future of Trapped in the Closet [A.V. Club]