In honor of Fall Out Boy’s attempts to play a show on all seven continents, we’ve divided this week’s highlights into groups based on what continent they addressed.

Antarctica:
Fall Out Boy tried their best but were sadly unable to rock a penguin’s world. We honored their attempt with a list of ten far lamer rock and roll stunts.

Europe:
Brits laughed at a man jogging, so we laughed at them. Ian McKellen confirmed he wants to work on The Hobbit, and we invented the verb “to McKellen.”

North America:
The L-Word finale was L-awful; Captain America threatened a Marvel blogger; porn rockers played for competitive eaters; Britney Braffified HIMYM; Scarlett’s boundless talents depressed the hell out of us; Aretha’s son’s inept Christian rapping amused the hell out of us; Brandon Nastanski’s Armory cabin, David Hajdu’s book on the comics scare, and the looming robot threat scared the hell out of us; Al Green disappointed; Laura Benanti and Gypsy exceeded expectations; and 21 met them exactly.