
Photo illustration: Getty Images, Courtesy of Lucas
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Despite its many problems — the story, the actors, the dialogue, the special effects, the overall tone, etc. — Star Wars: Episode I will forever be remembered as a movie ruined completely by Jar Jar Binks, the computer-generated Gungan who generous critics found merely annoying and less-generous ones likened to a modern-day blackface minstrel. If Indiana Jones 4 does, in fact, turn out crappy, it's pretty obvious who'll bear the blame. And, hey, as we said, we like Shia LaBeouf; while some have expressed disbelief at his continued ability to be cast in tons of movies despite a deadly lack of charisma, we thought he was utterly believable in his Transformers role as a guy running from Transformers.
Still, if Crystal Skull stinks for any reason — because Lucas passed on Frank Darabont's screenplay, because it's 140 minutes long, or because Harrison Ford is unable to convincingly portray an archaeologist who can still walk without electric-scooter assistance — it's LaBeouf who'll be the easy scapegoat. And unlike Jar Jar who was a fictional character rendered in CGI (much like Hayden Christensen) and didn't have to worry about sustaining a career, Shia will have only his role in his other billion-dollar action-movie franchise to fall back on.
140 Minutes Plus [Hollywood Elsewhere]
Indiana Jones and the Two Hour and Twenty-Something Minute Sequel [/Film]
INDIANA JONES AND THE NUMB BUTT CHEEKS [Cinematic Happenings Under Development]
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