In the Wink of a Young Girl's Eye: It's a only somewhat expected tragedy as Glory Days, the new musical about four guys reuniting one year after high school, has closed one day after opening. Poor advance sales and worse reviews are no doubt to blame, but it's important to remember that the mayfly (Ephemerella subvaria) lives its entire life in a single day, so it's all relative. Especially poignant: the way Playbill juxtaposes the miserable news with the happy faces in the cast's press photos. [Playbill]

Knoxville is a Fruitcake: Johnny Knoxville and Parker Posey will star in John Waters's Christmas movie, Fruitcake. Story centers on a runaway boy named Fruitcake and a runaway girl raised by two gay men. Sounds fun, but we're crossing our fingers that this one never becomes a musical. [HR]

Two for 500: Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt will star in 500 Days of Summer for Fox Searchlight. Story follows a guy who falls desperately in love with a woman who doesn't believe in love. Sure, she says that now, but wait till she sees him in G.I. Joe. [Variety]

Three Angry Women: Shame on you, Emily's Reasons Why Not, for making us think poor Heather Graham is anything less than a leading lady on roller skates. Now Graham, along with Jennifer Coolidge and Amber Heard, will star in the indie comedy Ex-terminators, the story of three women who meet in anger-management class and a start a "traditional business using very untraditional methods." In other words, they're exterminators who employ terminators. [Variety]

A Ferguson's Tale: Craig Ferguson will write his memoirs for HarperCollins. American on Purpose will follow his journey from Scottish baby to late-night television host, with brief stops as a punk-rocker, a dancer, a bouncer, and a drug addict. We'd give it a read, but we're too busy watching Conan. [Variety]