Spielberg Frees the Slaves: After mocapping Tintin, Steven Spielberg's next project will be his long-gestating Abraham Lincoln biopic, with Liam Neeson as Lincoln and Tony Kushner's script based largely on Pulitzer winner Doris Kearns Goodwin's biography. Spielberg is expected to shoot back to back with Tintin, because he's a selfless man who only cares about one thing: keeping you entertained. To help raise awareness for the Lincoln project, Pau Gasol will try his damndest to look just like him. [Variety]

Stoltz Goes to Battle: Eric Stoltz will star opposite Esai Morales in Sci Fi's Caprica, the Battlestar Galactica prequel. Stoltz will play Daniel Graystone, a rich engineer who, after a family disaster, uses his "technological wizardry to forever change the future of Caprica." Stoltz has been busy lately, now that he's pretty sure he can't get replaced by Michael J. Fox. [HR]

Portman Skips Brontë: Natalie Portman has left Wuthering Heights owing to scheduling conflicts (possibly an inability to learn semaphore?). Portman was one of the driving forces behind Heights, which makes her departure a little weird, like if Bush had resigned the night before we invaded Iraq. [Variety]

902102 Goes Legit: Shame on you for ever doubting it, but the CW has just given a firm series order for 902102. Not only that, but Jennie Garth will bring back Kelly Taylor as a … guidance counselor? You've come a long way from "I choose me," baby. [Reuters, Variety]

Witchblade Slicing Into Theaters: Remember Witchblade? Top Cow's comic franchise about the chick with the magic gauntlet? It was made into a show on TNT? Fans think it got canceled 'cause Yancy Butler loved drinkin'? Well, you better get excited, 'cause this puppy's coming to the big screen through a deal with Platinum Studios! Everybody crack open the bubbly! Sorry, not you, Yancy. [Variety]

MGM Gets Wet: MGM has picked up Hot Tub Time Machine, a self-explanatory comedy spec from Josh Heald. "We're always looking for ways to stand out from the rest of the pack in today's crowded marketplace, and what better way than to combine hot tub debauchery and the complications of time travel," said MGM's executive VP of production Cale Boyter, who should immediately be promoted to VP of Ridiculous Ways to Stand Out In the Marketplace. [HR]