As everyone knows, Coldplay's life-changing new album, Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends, arrives in stores next week. And, as you may have heard, it will shoot directly to the top of the charts, sell more copies than any CD ever, and save the band's once-troubled record label from imminent bankruptcy. Then, naturally, a flying unicorn will descend from heaven and Chris Martin will ride it around the world, delivering presents to all the children who believe in magic. That was the plan, we guess. But then, last week, the album leaked, and yesterday, Coldplay's record-label president got shit-canned and the band announced the postponement of its world tour citing "production delays" (perhaps the giant posters of Chris Martin's face haven't yet come back from the printer).

Now, EW is reporting that Lil Wayne's Tha Carter III (out yesterday) is set to be this week's No. 1 album, possibly moving as many as 950,000 copies, which would certainly make it the year's fastest-selling album so far. Given that Coldplay's last record, X&Y, made its chart debut with only a measly 737,000 in 2005 (back when there was still some semblance of a recording industry), and the unlikelihood that the nationwide number of CD-purchasing Coldplay fans has increased in the past three years, it stands to reason that Viva La Vida's sales will probably be overshadowed by Carter III's. Adding insult to injury is the fact that Martin's alleged friend Kanye West has launched a blog crusade to help Weezy's album crack the 1 million mark. That sound you hear is angels crying.

Lil Wayne's new CD, fueled by leaks, poised to sell more than any album so far this year [EW via Idolator]
WAYNE IS SLATED TO SELL BETWEEN 800,OOO & A MILLION ALBUMS THE FIRST WEEK. GRADUATION SOLD 965,000 LET'S HELP WAYNE CRACK THAT MILLION MARK!!!!! [Kanye West]
Coldplay Postpone Start of North American Tour [Pitchfork]

Earlier: New Coldplay Album to Be Released by Headless Record Company
Leaked: Coldplay Doom Music Business, Make Album We Actually Like
First Review of New Coldplay Album Is As Overblown As Most Coldplay Songs