Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you really liked Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Furthermore, let's say that you really, really liked Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. We're here to tell you that, sadly, there is still absolutely no reason to believe you will have any interest in Ace Ventura 3, supposedly being released this fall. Jim Carrey is not involved (and good for him), so you might logically wonder: Who can possibly star in an Ace Ventura movie without Ace Ventura?

Why, Ace Ventura's son, Ace Ventura Jr.

And who could play him? Why, Josh Flitter, the kid who was Robin Williams's wisecracking sidekick in the truly terrible License to Wed. That's right — the kid who managed to come off like an overeager Virginia ham even while acting next to Robin Williams.

Obviously the Ace Ventura trilogy is not the Godfather trilogy, so it's foolish to get all upset about the third episode spoiling everything. But seriously, this is the kind of movie parents will take their kids to but not stay for, where farting can be suggested, as long as it's not prolonged. Not since The Love Guru has a movie so firmly declared its intent to be lousy before it even gets out of the gate. Just watching the commercials is going to stiffen the resolve of the voluntarily childless. Look at all the posters! Animals! Shades! Animals wearing shades! Humping hamsters! We never thought we'd say such a thing, but, Jim Carrey, why have you forsaken us? —Linda Holmes

First Look: Ace Ventura 3 [/Film]