Last month, when Katherine Heigl declined to submit her name for Emmy consideration, citing the crappy writing and her diminished role on Grey's Anatomy last season, she had to expect there'd be consequences — and now there will be, probably! According to E! Online, show creator Shonda Rhimes is considering killing off Heigl's character, Izzie, on an upcoming episode. Reps for the show have already issued denials to E! and the L.A. Times, basically confirming that it's definitely going to happen. But how should they do it?

The laws of television dictate that Izzie will probably die in a car crash on this season's finale, tearfully joining her beloved Denny in Heaven, or some such nonsense. But couldn't they make it more interesting? Since Heigl is clearly angling to be let out of her contract (she's reportedly signed for at least the upcoming fifth season) so she can pursue more movie roles, the obvious solution would be to make hers a slow, painful death, keeping her on Grey's against her will — perhaps by inflicting Izzie with some miserable, debilitating, season-long terminal illness (like the one that turns people into trees!) that would hamper Heigl's ability to emote and win another Emmy, even if she wanted to. Still, though, we think there's an even better way.

Rhimes and the Grey's writing staff have the perfect chance to make Heigl's onscreen offing the most hilarious, nonsensical, out-of-the-blue fatality in TV history, more ignominious than the death of even the most hapless red shirt — and we hope they take it! Given recent events, does anyone not want to see Heigl struck by a meteor? Or pulled apart by a pack of lions right in the middle of the ER? Or simply explode for absolutely no reason? No matter what the circumstances, it's highly unlikely any tears will be shed, so why can't they have some fun with this? How about a death at the hands of a mysterious smoke monster that would never be spoken of again? Or maybe she could slip on a banana peel and into an inexplicably placed wood chipper. Haven't you always wanted to see a shark crawl out of the ocean, walk into a fictional Seattle hospital, and bite a doctor in half? We certainly have!

Gone, Heigl, Gone? [E!]
'Grey's Anatomy' to Katherine Heigl: Emmy revenge can be murder? [Gold Derby/LAT]

Earlier: Vulture's Open Letter to Katherine Heigl
Katherine Heigl Withdraws From Emmy Race; Will M. Night Shyamalan Follow Suit at the Razzies?

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