On Friday, we asked — nay, begged — you not to see a movie over the weekend for fear that famed Hollywood number-comparer Paul Dergarabedian might see a too huge, record-breaking box-office tally, larger than any he's ever seen before, and immediately explode. Hilariously, you ignored us and gave The Dark Knight the biggest opening weekend in all of film history — $155.4 million from Friday to Sunday. The latest Batman adventure also shattered the records for biggest single-day gross ($67 million on Saturday), largest number of opening theaters (4,366 nationally), biggest midnight gross ($18.5 million on Thursday night), best-ever July opening (beating Pirates of the Caribbean 2's measly $136 million in 2006). Additionally, Hollywood extracted an impressive $26.7 million from Mamma Mia! fans, helping to set a new record for an overall weekend take of $253 million. "We've really never seen anything like this," said Paul D. to the AP while, amazingly, not bursting into flames.

So to what does he owe his miraculous non-explosion? Well, from the interview he gave to AP's David Germain yesterday, it sounds like he survived because he's realized there's a world outside of box-office figures: "If you're worried about mortgage payments and gas prices," he said, characteristically explaining Knight's success in the most obvious possible terms, "when you're sitting in The Dark Knight for two and a half hours, you're not thinking about any of that stuff." If Space Chimps had made any more than its crappy $7 million, though, we bet this would've been a much sadder post.

JOKER LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO BANK: 'Dark Knight' Breaks Eight Film Records: Batman Frenzy = $67.8M Fri $48M Sat; Best Ever $155.3M Box Office Weekend; Biggest Non-Holiday FSS At The Movies [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
'Dark Knight' sets box office record with $66.4M [AP]
'Dark Knight' sets weekend record with $155.34M [AP]

Earlier: Save Paul Dergarabedian! Don’t Go to the Movies This Weekend