Last week we saw a screening of Woody Allen's upcoming Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the film over which Woody and his publicist have been battling about the inclusion (or non-inclusion) of a ménage à trois between Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz, and Scarlett Johansson. As die-hard Allen fans who'd love to see one of his movies turn a profit for once, we're sad to report that all threesomes are implied and happen strictly off-camera. Still, there may be hope! Barcelona does feature Cruz, Johansson, and Rebecca Hall, and a carefree, pro-sex attitude at odds with Allen's typical romantic cynicism — might a few horny male movie critics be tricked into overstating the film's hotness?

It's working so far! "You can feel Allen's excitement in the sensual atmosphere. Spain! A seventy-two-year-old man has warmed his bones," writes reliable horndog David Denby in this week's New Yorker (he describes Scarlett Johansson as "pliant"). "The film is all about sexual attraction and what to do about it (and in what combinations)," says Variety's Todd McCarthy. "The sexual permutations eventually multiply with the man and two women under the same roof, especially in a provocative red-light-drenched photo dark room encounter between the two women" (this part lasts for approximately three seconds). If Andrew Sarris's review is anything like we think it'll be, this movie could crack $20 million at the box office!

Young Loves [NYer]