The back-page "Artifact" in this week's issue of New York is a collection of head shots of the young actors auditioning for the role of Peter Parker in Julie Taymor's upcoming Spider-Man musical. Since the photos were posted online Sunday night, more than 50 nymag.com commenters have chimed in, expressing heartfelt hopes that, out of the fifteen featured competitors, unknown auditionee Josh Bednarsky gets the part. "I think josh bednarsky should get it all! he's fantastic and will outbeat any other spiderman!" exclaims one excitable New York reader. "Josh Bednarsky is perfect for every aspect of this role. I look forward to watching him playing the role!" says another, who is definitely not Josh Bednarsky's mom or grandma.

Sorry, Josh Bednarsky fans, but we couldn't possibly disagree more — the producers of Spider-Man could probably find five more suitable Peter Parkers at 3 a.m. on any random New York subway car. Has there ever, in all of show-business history, been someone less equipped for a role? We doubt it! Seriously, this Vulture editor stands a better chance of being cast as Mary Jane than Josh Bednarsky does of getting a callback. Listen, Josh Bednarsky seems like a nice guy — and certainly not the type of person who'd ask all his friends to sign up for multiple nymag.com commenting accounts — but everyone knows that Spider-Man has brown hair.

Artifact: Big Tights To Fill [NYM]
Josh Bednarsky [Official site]