"Noel Gallagher said I should 'learn three chords on the guitar and go write a tune.' So I just wanted him to know that I'm actually taking guitar lessons from Jay-Z right now and he's already taught me both chords to 'Wonderwall.'" —Mark Ronson, who, like everyone else, knows that "Wonderwall" has four chords [Guardian]

"I always try to talk my way out of kissing scenes. 'Do they really need to kiss in this part? Can't they just hug?'" —Eva Longoria [Latina Magazine via NYP]

"When in doubt, I can stare blankly. The rubber face. There's only so many ways you can stare incredulously at the camera and tilt an eyebrow, but that's your old standby: What would Buster Keaton do?" —Jon Stewart [NYT]

"I was perceived as the funny-voice guy, and the funny-voice guy doesn't have gravitas. So I needed instant gravitas, which is pretty hard to come by when you're 22." —Steve Coogan [NYT]

"I want to be like the black Björk!" —Solange Knowles [Guardian]