The RIAA is celebrating — for once! — after President Bush's signing of a controversial bill yesterday that will institute harsher monetary penalties for music downloaders and create a hilarious new, probably ineffectual federal-level position — an "intellectual-property czar," who will report directly to the president on matters related to copyright (the post will most likely not be filled before the end of the Bush administration).

In keeping with Hollywood's recent campaign to spoil all of our fun, Terry Rossio, who co-wrote the three Pirates of the Caribbean movies, says all those crazy rumors swirling around upcoming fourth film are false, "including the so-called record 50 million dollar payday for Depp." (Other debunked gossip includes Tim Burton signing on as director and Sacha Baron Cohen joining the cast.) According to Rossio, "studios are way too protective of their franchises for that sort of thing." Also, according to us, studios are way too lame for that sort of thing.

Original 'Pirates' Scribe Says Pirates 4' Rumors Are Bunk [Playlist]

A press release from the Weinstein Company today apparently (jokingly?) confirms that the title of Quentin Tarantino's forthcoming Nazi-scalping adventure movie will indeed be spelled the way it was on the typo-congested screenplay: Inglourious Basterds. Also, casting is complete (Cloris Leachman is in it!), and principal photography started last week in Germany, which means Tarantino's insane assurances that this thing would be ready in time for next May's Cannes Film Festival might not have been total bullshit!

Inglourious Basterds Commences Principal Photography [ComingSoon]

Roberto Saviano, the Italian author of Gomorrah, a hit book exposing the behind-the-scenes machinations of the Camorra (the mob), has been under 24-hour police watch for the past two years. But with the movie version of Gomorrah now also a hit, Saviano is facing more heat than ever — Naples' anti-Mafia squad is investigating a claim that the Camorra plan to have the author and his bodyguards killed by Christmas. It's pretty much as ridiculously cinematic as it sounds: The information came from an informant close to Francesco Schiavone, the imprisoned Camorra godfather known as Sandokan; apparently, the Casalesi sub-clan has moved its assassination plans into the "operative" phase.

Actor and comedian Richard Belzer has played Detective Munch — on Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit and Homicide, among other shows — for so many years that he has become nearly indistinguishable from the character. And lest you think the line between television and reality isn't blurry enough, Belzer's new novel, I Am Not a Cop!, is about an actor named Richard Belzer who plays a television cop named "Munch," embroiled in an urban murder mystery. It’s awesomely meta — and he’s already at work on his follow-up book, which involves Marilyn Monroe, Las Vegas, and the mob. Belzer spoke with Vulture about the book, reminisced about getting dropped (in real life) by Hulk Hogan, and gave a conspiracy theorist’s take on the coming election.

Maybe! According to the Institute for the Study of Totalitarian Regimes, in 1950, The Unbearable Lightness of Being author, Milan Kundera, informed on a guest in a Czechoslovakian student dormitory where he lived when he was 21 years old. The guest, Miroslav Dvoracek, was apparently an American-backed anti-Communist spy; he was arrested and served fourteen years in prison, including a stint of hard labor in a uranium mine. Kundera was a member of the Communist party in his youth, but he's been a critic of totalitarianism since the Soviets invaded Czechoslovakia in 1968. In a statement, Kundera said, "I object in the strongest manner to these accusations, which are pure lies" and claims the media is attempting "the assassination of an author." Also, in Kundera's defense, Dvoracek doesn't sound like he was a very good spy.

Report Says Acclaimed Czech Writer Informed on a Supposed Spy [NYT]

Ryan Adams and the Cardinals, Cardinology

Official Release Date: October 28

The Verdict: From the intermittently productive blogger-novelist already responsible for an estimated third of the world's songs come twelve new songs! You already know what they sound like (like the Grateful Dead and Neil Young), but how are they? Pretty great, actually! The Cardinals are back, which means Cardinology feels like the happy medium between 2005's excellent Cold Roses and Jacksonville City Nights (rather than last year's slightly boring Easy Tiger), but with less jamming and sharper choruses. If you're (understandably) a few years behind on your Ryan Adams albums, you might just want to skip ahead to this one.

Iron Man Shuffle: Don Cheadle will replace Terrence Howard in Iron Man 2 because the latter's deal fell through over "financial differences." The character of Jim Rhodes (a.k.a. War Machine) is expected to play a larger part in the sequel, which Justin Theroux is at this very moment rewriting to be about activists in Darfur. [HR]

Fox Bails Out Wall Street: Fox understands your economic woes, and they're ready to capitalize on them with a Wall Street sequel called Money Never Sleeps, to be written by 21's Allan Loeb. Story will feature Gordon Gekko, the corporate raider originally played by Michael Douglas in Oliver Stone's 1987 original. Douglas said he's interested in reprising the character but will make his decision based on the script, and whether there's still anyone in America who can afford to see a movie in a few years. [HR]

Martin and Meyers Triangulate: Steve Martin has joined Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin in Nancy Meyers's untitled romantic comedy at Universal. Story follows two guys who compete for the affections of one special lady and definitely features their sassy best friends who give them advice along the way. [Variety]