It's a sad day for people inappropriately emotionally invested in ridiculous hip-hop personas — coke-rap boss Rick Ross has admitted that in the mid-nineties, presumably on the days he wasn't hustling, he was gainfully employed as a Miami-Dade County corrections officer. Ross has denied he was ever a prison guard for the last few months, despite a flood of photos and personnel records clearly showing otherwise, and it's not clear why he chose to confess now. By way of explanation, he told Don Diva, "I done been up and I done been down, and that's what makes me what I am. I never ratted on a nigga. I never prosecuted a nigga. I never locked up a nigga." Instead, Ross would politely ask the felons if they wanted their door shut before gently sliding the bars in place. [BET]