Forgive us for being gossipy for a moment, but over the weekend we had a rather strange experience that we feel compelled to share with you: On Saturday evening, during a rare journey outdoors, your Vulture editor ran into (not literally, but almost) Tom and Suri Cruise just above Astor Place. Even though Tom was not wearing his Valkyrie eye patch, we were still somehow able to place him as the star of Tropic Thunder and the proprietor of TomCruise.com.

He and Suri (plus two bodyguards) were let out of a car near Fourth Avenue and 10th Street, and they went north to Pie by the Pound, on 12th, which took them at least ten minutes because they were playing and running around on the sidewalk, weaving between pedestrians, and generally behaving the way completely normal people do all the time. After picking up dinner, they got in an SUV and drove off. We felt funny about taking pictures, but everyone else was doing it (a Perez Hilton reader got video), and that basically seemed like the whole idea behind whatever it was they were doing anyway. At no point did Tom recognize us as the author of this, thankfully. Below, three reasons why we'd make a crappy paparazzo.

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