Things that terrified us this week:

• Clint Eastwood's Batman voice.

• The fact that we'd actually consider purchasing Jon Hamm's John Ham.

• That there are still nine more months until new episodes of Mad Men.

• Dollhouse's imminent cancellation.

• Basically everything that Brian Grazer says.

• The idea of a Robert Plant-less Led Zeppelin reunion.

• The Tina Fey backlash.

• Movie theaters in Utah.

• Joaquin Phoenix.

• The hours we spent reading Mad Men message boards.

• Kristen Wiig's workload.

• A squid-less Watchmen.

• The idea of removing Roberto Bolaño's new book from its shrink wrap.

• Zack and Miri's money shot.