"I turned down Short Circuit 2 too and I now wish I hadn't. Sequels are a lot of fun and you get to hang out with all your friends." —Steve Guttenberg [Sun UK]

"The problem is, they don't look any different at the moment from when Trainspotting was made, to be absolutely honest. They look exactly the same. They're a little heavier, but they basically look the same. Actors stay suspended in that timeless moment where they're moisturizing and looking after themselves and making sure they keep fit and healthy, because it's their work, it's their future employment. But when time ravages them, we will be waiting for them." —Danny Boyle is waiting for middle age to really show before he makes a sequel to Trainspotting [A.V. Club]

"If we don't get it right it's really, really going to suck." —Robert Downey, Jr. is inspiring a lot of confidence in The Avengers movie [Splash Page/MTV]

The numbers are in! Last Wednesday, rightful American Idol winner David Archuleta posted first-week sales of 183,000 for his masterful debut record David Archuleta, landing the coveted No. 2 position on the Billboard 200. This morning it was announced that David Cook, Archuleta's balder, pitchier nemesis, managed to unload 280,000 copies of his new CD last week, which was only good enough for an abysmal No. 3 placement on today's chart — embarrassing! Better luck next time, Cook!

Beyonce Starts 'Fierce' Atop Album Chart [Billboard]
Taylor Swift Soars To No. 1 Debut [Billboard]

Ask anyone what film they're most looking forward to next year and they'll probably tell you Watchmen or Inglourious Basterds or some other crap. Why? Because they've not yet heard of Paper Hearts, the top-secret new Michael Cera movie debuting at January's Sundance Film Festival. According to The Hollywood Reporter today, Hearts' makers are trying to keep it under wraps — it's not even on IMDb! — in hopes that it might take the fest by surprise, like Napoleon Dynamite did in 2005. "Any movie that's going to be touted too much will have a bull's-eye on its back," says one of HR's sources. Still, though, if the film's anywhere near as good as its stealth marketing campaign implies, can there be any doubt that Paper Hearts will surpass The Dark Knight's box-office gross on its way to next year's Academy Award for Best Picture?

Keanu's a Chef, Dude: David Fincher will direct Keanu Reeves in a movie about a chef, according to Production Weekly. That's pretty much all anyone knows about the Sony-backed project, but we're guessing it's about a chef who must keep his oven above 350 degrees, lest it explode and kills dozens of innocent people. Again, just a guess. [Production Weekly via /film]

Domestic Trouble: Eddie Izzard and Brian Dennehy have joined the cast of Every Day, a Richard Levine–directed drama currently shooting in New York. The cross-dressing Brit and Bobby Knight lookalike join Liev Schreiber and Helen Hunt in the story about a couple in turmoil. Here's hoping Dennehy and Izzard play their stable, civil-union-ed gay friends. [Variety]

Saved by Union: Gabrielle Union and writer Frank Spotnitz are teaming up for a much-needed TV cop drama. In development for NBC, the show centers on a detective (Union) who must race to save someone's life before it's too late. Spotnitz, who has written for The X-Files, and Union previously worked together on ABC's failed reworking of Night Stalker. Credit is due for not killing off the victim in the show's first 30 seconds. [Variety]