The esteemed Roger Ebert has been on a reviewing and blogging tear recently, having apparently regained the fire of his early years in the wake of his multiple harrowing surgeries (though he still has the occasional lapse in judgment). This week he let loose with a grippingly introspective, almost stream-of-consciousness piece that managed to tie in his lifelong struggle with his weight, his cancer surgery, and his fondness for The Phantom of the Opera, while also working in some of Gene Siskel's greatest putdowns of him during their heyday together. We urge you to read the post itself, titled "Siskel & Ebert & the Jugular." In the meantime, though, after the jump are our five favorite Siskel disses as recounted by Ebert in the piece.

5. "Phone for you, Rog. Your shoes are calling."

4. "Buzz, the usual offer of 10 silver dollars to any cameraman who doesn't make Mr. Ebert look like a mudslide."

3. Referring to Ebert’s only published novel, Behind the Phantom's Mask: "The first book in history that placed below Amazon's Sales Ranking."

2. "Here's an item that will interest you, Roger. It says here, the Michelin Man has been arrested in a fast food court in Hawaii for attempting to impersonate the Pillsbury Dough Boy."

And our favorite…

1. "Nancy, please bring Mr. Ebert a bookmark so he doesn't lose his chin again."