This week People magazine honored cattle-whip expert Hugh Jackman by naming him the Sexiest Man Alive, basically killing his Oscar chances. What else was superlatively sexy this week? We look back:

• Sexiest movie that improved on already-sexy source material: Twilight

• Sexiest album that took thirteen years to make: Chinese Democracy

• Sexiest target of Gene Siskel's insult humor: Roger Ebert

• Sexiest Broadway closing: American Buffalo

• Sexiest editorial plan: Vulture's

• Sexiest vampire-erotica slideshow: this one

• Sexiest 2008 National Book Award winner for fiction: Peter Matthiessen

• Sexiest upcoming United Artists film about a one-eyed Nazi: Valkyrie

• Sexiest up-and-coming monsters: werewolves

• Sexiest bad singers: rappers

• Sexiest layoffs: Days of Our Lives'

• Sexiest Twilight star afraid of being stabbed by fans: Robert Pattinson

• Sexiest televised discussion of cat pee: Ben Silverman's

• Sexiest Hollywood quitter: Everybody (tie)

• Sexiest crotch: Paul Rudd's