As much as we are anxiously awaiting the opportunity to put 2008 to bed once and for all, we can only imagine that Ben Silverman has been staring down at the second-hand of his watch for the last few months and muttering to himself, "I think the clock is slow." But while it would be hard to fathom that 2009 could go much worse for the impeccably eyebrowed wunderkind than 2008 did, the truth of the matter is that NBC is well positioned to finish February sweeps below Fox and end up as the lowest rated major television network. Adding a heavy dose of insult to a network that's suffered repeated primetime injuries this fall, Lisa de Moraes of the Washington Post unloaded both barrels on the Peacock Network in a scathing piece that made Chris Lee's assault on Ben Lyons on Monday look like a love letter. To wit: De Moraes deftly morphed from television columnist to insult comic when she described the slate of NBC's Q1 programming thusly:

NBC announced a lineup for the first quarter of '09 that seems to suggest the network has actually run out of shows. Sundays, for instance, will be filled with the newsmagazine Dateline, which is being pumped up to two-hour broadcasts, followed by that supersize Celebrity Apprentice. Yes, that's right, two hours of Ann Curry followed by two hours of Donald Trump.

"Being nude was weird. And now I'm seeming like the actress who does that, which wasn't my intention." —Marisa Tomei, who doesn't want to be known as That Naked Actress [Parade]

"I was trying to convince Ed [Zwick] to try and slip in a dance sequence somewhere, but it just really didn't work out." —Jamie Bell on why there's no dance number in Defiance [MoviesOnline]

"Our version [of the Cleopatra story] will be like an Elvis musical in 3D. It's a total rock 'n' roll, 1966 aesthetic - like Viva Las Vegas meets Tommy." —Steven Soderbergh on why his upcoming musical Cleo will be insane [NYP]

After winning an Oscar last February for Juno and surviving a maelstrom of criticism from a seething nation of bloggers, Diablo Cody battened down her personal hatches and got to work writing a television show for Showtime on the behest of none other than Steven Spielberg. Now with the show set to debut on January 18, Showtime is currently streaming the pilot episode of The United States of Tara for free on their Website (when prompted for a password, type in TARA). You can expect bloggers and critics alike to eagerly bare their fangs in anticipation of a fresh chance to tear down Hollywood's most famous slang-slinging ex-stripper (Defamer has already weighed in, saying the show "isn't just bad, it's bad four times over"), but Vulture is certainly willing to give this show a fair shot. We'll even subscribe to the new Tara-related Twitter feed that Diablo Cody announced she'll be using to live-tweet her show's episodes. However, we cannot and will not be held accountable for our actions if we hear or read the words "honest to blog" ever again.

The United States of Tara [Showtime]

Pitt Walks the Boardwalk: Michael Pitt is set to join the cast of Martin Scorsese's drama pilot for HBO, Boardwalk Empire. Steve Buscemi is already onboard to star in the story about the origins of Atlantic City. The show will revolve around a cunning businessman (Buscemi) who starts a liquor-distribution network at the beginning of Prohibition and a low-level lackey (Pitt) trying to rise quickly. If twenties Atlantic City is anything like 2000s Atlantic City, both characters will also exclusively wear tracksuits. [HR]

Phantom Part Duex: Andrew Lloyd Weber has announced that 2009 will be the year that the Phantom of the Opera sequel comes out of hiding. The long-rumored Phantom: Love Never Dies will see the Phantom relocate from Paris to the decidedly less glamorous Coney Island. But Weber's not giving much else away, including who will play the masked freak. May we suggest someone who won't have any trouble adapting to playing a masked freak: Michael Jackson.[Times UK]

Respect: The National Film Registry has made its selections for this year and the most notable name on the list is The Terminator. Now Arnold Schwarzenegger's star turn as a bloodthirsty robot from the future will be remembered forever. Even when only bloodthirsty robots from the future are around to watch movies. In Cold Blood and Deliverance were also among the 25 "culturally, historically or aesthetically" significant films selected for inclusion. [Variety]