In Keanu Reeves's new movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still, he plays the stone-faced representative of an alien race planning on destroying the planet — perfect casting for an actor famous for his otherworldly impassiveness. Ha-ha, you might say, Keanu Reeves is playing another role where he doesn't have to emote. But those who joke about Keanu and his immobile face haven't been paying attention.

Well, we have! Twenty-plus years of Keanu have acquainted us with every emotion he can portray, from confusion to consternation to happiness to pure, unfettered rage. That's why Vulture's proud to present our official field guide to the facial expressions of Keanu Reeves — complete with our patented Kean-u-meter™, which measures Keanu's facial elasticity from zero (The Matrix Revolutions) to ten (Bram Stoker's Dracula). If you're not afraid of spoilers for old Keanu Reeves movies, check out our exclusive (and comprehensive!) slideshow, after the jump.