The nonsense-printing British tabloids, who were tireless in their hilarious efforts to break incorrect news about Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes during its filming in London last year, had us excited for any number of Doyle-blaspheming surprises, from an all-Coldplay soundtrack to a Paris Hilton cameo to a flaming Sherlock. So it was no small letdown to watch this brand-new trailer for the movie, in which we learn that it's simply your basic Jason Bourne–style actioner in which the titular hero battles ghosts and is played as a near relative of Captain Jack Sparrow who borrows clothes from Watson. Yawn! (Also, how come The Sun never did a story on how little Robert Downey Jr.'s accent sounds like that of a British person?)