There's one program airing on television this weekend on which the world's eyes will be fixed. No, silly, we don't mean Jay Leno's virtually meaningless exit from the Tonight Show — after all, it's awfully hard to muster up the necessary energy for gooey sentimental goodbyes to someone who isn't really going away — rather, we're talking about the Britain's Got Talent finale. Despite the fact that no American television networks managed to figure out a way to air the broadcast of Saturday's finale, either live or on tape delay (morons!), tens of millions of people will be tuning in to see if the Susan Boyle will walk away from the show as a triumphant victor or a sore loser. And after the tremendous amount of bad press Boyle has gotten over the last few days, it's getting hard to decipher which outcome people would prefer to see.

After a shaky performance in the BGT semifinals, in which the show's producers attempted to position the Hairy Angel as a Christlike figure, Boyle apparently had a bit of a meltdown, in which she shouted profanities at both television screens and policemen (bobbies?). As you might expect, the British tabloids jumped all over the story: "SuBo Goes Loco!" shouted the Sun. "Boyling Point!" screamed the Mirror. After being assaulted by the press for days on end, frankly we're shocked that Chris Crocker hasn't come out of retirement to post a "Leave Susan Boyle alone!" rant on YouTube.

We'll be honest with you here. Frankly, we don't care if Susan Boyle wins or loses the competition; if you were to press us for an answer, we'd kinda like to see that Shaheen Jafargholi kid take home the prize. Still, that doesn't mean that we're rooting against Susan Boyle, not in the slightest. The thing that irks us the most about the whole Boyle phenomenon is how the show's producers (including evil genius Simon Cowell) have exploited her eccentricity and, let's face it, her homeliness, for their own gains. Sure, barring some sort of spectacular flameout in the finals, her worldwide name recognition will pretty much allow her to make millions (of which Simon and crew will undoubtedly get a substantial cut) and to do whatever she pleases for the next couple of years. Still, the cynic inside of us can't help but feel like she's been positioned as a reality-show version of a circus freak — hey, look at the dowdy frump with the mildly appealing voice!

That said, we acknowledge that millions of people have found her story inspiring. And we'll admit that it warms even our jaded hearts to see a woman like Susan Boyle get an opportunity to shine in the spotlight. Our only real issue is that it seems like, after a lifetime of being ignored, she's not entirely equipped to handle the rigorous demands of instant fame. So regardless of the outcome tomorrow night, we sincerely hope that Susan Boyle takes a lesson from that wise old sage Kenny Rogers and figures out for herself whether the best course for her — not for the sycophants eager to exploit her for financial gain — is whether to hold 'em or fold 'em. Whether to walk away or whether to run.