Good news! On a day when young Joe Nick Jonas is testifying in front of Congress in an effort to steer more funding toward diabetes research, the Jonas Brothers learned that their new long player just debuted atop the Billboard 200. Approximately 247,000 people ponied up to purchase Lines, Vines and Trying Times which, on the surface, seems like a pretty decent debut. Bad news! Our elephantlike minds remembered that their last record, A Little Bit Longer, sold some 525,000 copies during its first week of release. Before you say "Oh, that must've been back in the days when people were still using 56k dial-up modems," we'd like to remind you that the record was released last August, which means the number of screaming schoolgirls who rushed out to Best Buy and Wal-Mart last week with wallets in hand fell by 53 percent. So, aside from ditching the whole "keyboard-driven, eighties-style radio cheese" thing, how can they stem the bleeding? Three simple words: Ditch the pants! After all, that strategy has sure paid off for Lady Gaga.

Jonas Brothers Debut Atop Billboard 200 [Billboard]