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Ryan Reynolds has been hired by Warner Bros. to play Hal Jordan in next December's Green Lantern movie over competitors Bradley Cooper and Justin Timberlake, who we suppose will now have even more time to devote to making SNL cameos and not recording the follow-up to FutureSex/LoveSounds. [BFDealmemo/Variety]
This week, Brüno told us jokes, got us drunk, and helped us love America again. Michael Jackson was mourned by us and others (but not Justin Timberlake or Nancy Pelosi). Also, he saved the music business, danced in a car, and was possibly the victim of foul play. What else happened?
Photo: Wire Image
According to Sasha Frere-Jones, "The summer jam of 2009 was determined at 2:26 P.M. P.D.T., June 25th. For the next two months, we will either be hearing Michael Jackson, avoiding Michael Jackson, or otherwise processing the symbiotic wind of data, rumor, sound, and news that is now 'Michael Jackson.'" While we respectfully disagree — not even the death of a deeply fascinating, back-seat grooving, once-in-a-lifetime pop icon will make us stop rocking “Best I Ever Had” ad nauseum — we do have to acknowledge that MJ’s passing has fundamentally altered the 2009 Song of the Summer field: you don’t need us to point out that the last few weeks have seen one giant, collective, head-first dive back into the man’s impressive catalog.
With that in mind, this week’s Power Rankings take a break from today's hits to go deep into the crevices of said catalog, tracking the best and most curious MJ oddities, rarities, covers, remixes, bonus tracks, tribute mixtapes, and more. As always, let us know what we've missed.
Photo: Courtesy of 20th Century Fox, Hasbro
We know that it's Friday afternoon and your brain wants nothing more than for you to begin drowning it in Moscow Mules, but we thought we'd offer this up to those of suckers like us who are still sitting around an office somewhere stone-cold sober (not you, Artie Lange). Anyway, one of these two pictures is an illustration of the newly designed, top-secret Destro mask from a G.I. Joe toy that's going to be on display at Comic-Con, and the other is a first look at the stop-motion animated star of Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox (which, truth be told, is kind of giving us Conker's Bad Fur Day flashbacks). We'll leave it up to you to guess which is which!
First Pic from Wes Anderson’s “Fantastic Mr. Fox” Revealed! [Flavorwire]
GI Joe Movie Destro Mask Really Revealed? [UGO]
Of all the new shows that were set to debut this fall, NBC's Parenthood seemed to be one of the most promising. Based on its familiar brand name and the healthy amount of confidence that NBC had in the project, the network had already begun running promotional spots for the show; additionally, major publications like the Los Angeles Times have already penned positive features on it. However, news out of Burbank this afternoon has the show moving out of its previously scheduled September 23 premiere and into a mid-season spot owing to an unspecified illness that star Maura Tierney is currently experiencing. "Start of production on NBC Universal's new series Parenthood has been postponed for eight weeks due to medical evaluation that valued cast member Maura Tierney is undergoing," the Peacock announced in a statement. Alas, this isn't the first time tragedy has struck this particular reboot.
Following /Film's Peter Sciretta's heroic blog post this morning on the potentially disastrous scheduling of an Avatar presentation and a Twilight panel discussion in the same auditorium, Comic-Con organizers have changed the order of the events to ensure that Twilight-loving virgins and Avatar-loving virgins will not be required to intermix. [/Film]
One of the most intriguing events at the recently concluded Human Rights Watch Film Festival was a program called Youth Producing Change, a series of short films made by children in troubled countries around the world turning cameras on their own lives. The results were often touching and vibrant, as can be seen in Leila, a surprisingly sad yet ultimately charming little animation short made by Belgian animator Louise-Marie Colon and sixteen schoolchildren in Burkina Faso. The story of a little girl from a family of poor farmers who is exchanged for a bag of millet, it’s a dark, evocative, little fable featuring a rough animation style and the voices of the kids themselves. Clocking in around three minutes, it seems very simple — and it is, beautifully so — but we’re still finding it hard to shake, weeks after first seeing it.
In what will probably go down as the least surprising news you read this afternoon, Artie Lange was arrested in New Jersey just minutes ago on suspicion of DUI after a minor car accident. Sounds like someone got their weekend started just a wee bit early ... [TMZ]
“Maybe all the theaters will burn down before people get a chance to see it.” Her film may be opening today, but Lynn Shelton is still keeping her expectations low — which must come as a surprise to anyone who has been following the fortunes of the director’s Sundance phenomenon Humpday, a stupefyingly funny and amazingly poignant super-low-budget comedy about two straight best friends (Mark Duplass and Joshua Leonard) who decide to make an amateur gay porn film together. But Shelton is a far cry from your starry-eyed overnight film-festival success. A forty-something mother with a background in experimental film, the Seattle-based Shelton has been following her voice and making decidedly independent videos and films for over a decade now, garnering numerous awards along the way. But Humpday has been a buzz title ever since its first rapturous screenings at this year’s Sundance, and Hollywood has come calling. Our hope is that her pile-on of good luck continues when American audiences finally begin to discover Humpday this weekend. Provided, yes, that all the theaters don’t burn down first.
"I liked making work that was going to get seen by more than twelve people!" 
As the news surrounding the death of Michael Jackson continues to grow more depressing and weird, we here at Vulture would like to interrupt the morbidness for a few quick moments to show you something MJ-related that ought to make you smile. In the following video, which was apparently shot by one Brett Ratner, Michael Jackson was riding around in the back of an SUV when R. Kelly's party classic "Ignition (Remix)" came over the car speakers. And while it doesn't appear that MJ actually knows the words to the song, that doesn't stop him from busting out some of the best backseat dance moves we've seen since the "Bohemian Rhapsody" sequence from the first Wayne's World movie. Truly amazing footage.
Yes, according to one blogger! While perusing the schedule for Comic-Con in two weeks, /Film's Peter Sciretta noticed something horrifying: James Cameron's Avatar presentation on Thursday will end just 15 minutes prior to a panel discussion for Twilight sequel New Moon — happening in the same auditorium! The concern, of course, is that rabid Twilight fans (GIRLS, most likely) will line up days early, filling all the seats and shutting out the Avatar-interested. Additionally, during the screening of Cameron's purported masterpiece — "probably the most anticipated film at Comic-Con this year," notes Sciretta, "But only second to Tron 2" — Twilighters will presumably completely ignore the movie, biting each other and gazing abstinently at the photos of Robert Pattinson in their programs, or whatever it is that they do all day. All of James Cameron's hard work will be for naught. This is a disaster.
Will Twilight Ruin This Year’s Comic-Con? [/Film]
See also: Why Must Twilight -Obsessed Women Ruin Comic-Con for Avatar -Obsessed Men? [Movieline]
According to Mandy Moore's (verified!) Twitter feed, she just made it halfway through a home screening of the cult classic The King Of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. Only halfway? The film's only 79 minutes long, for Pete's sake! Then again, Ryan Adams probably made her turn the TV off so he could record a new album. [Twitter/TheMandyMoore]
The Hollywood Reporter's James Hibberd received this delightful pair of bloody shorts in the mail yesterday from the Discovery Channel, ostensibly in promotion of Shark Week. Accompanying them? A copy of his own obituary. [Live Feed/THR via Movieline]
"In hindsight it seems to be the height of folly. You had to resolve your economic crisis by becoming a folk singer. And I had not much of a voice. I didn't play that great guitar either." —Leonard Cohen [Guardian UK]
"Everyone's just doing their job. At the end of the day, I’m not going to be mad when someone asks if I want ketchup with my fries, and I’m not going to get mad at people if they ask if I ate a squirrel as a kid. Yes, I did. A lot of ’em. Tons. Trees full." —Beth Ditto [Elle]
"In England, it’s a tradition to put your plaques and photographs and awards and gold records and stuff in your bathroom. I don’t know why. [I’ve heard that] The Beatles did it, the Rolling Stones did it … So, I’ve got a big cabinet on the wall, and the Grammys are on the middle shelf. It’s funny, I was seeing this guy last summer, and he had no idea who I was. We never spoke about music, which I thought was a little weird, but I thought maybe he was just trying to make me feel comfortable by seeming unfazed by my success. But the first time to my house, he went to the toilet, and when he came out he said, “Who the fuck are you?”—Adele [Elle]
Well, the chances of this story becoming less awful anytime soon are probably pretty slim. In a new interview with Good Morning America, Michael Jackson's father Lord Voldemort Joe says he thinks the King of Pop's death could have been a homicide: "I do believe it was foul play." And this apparently isn't just crazy talk — CNN reports today that, pending toxicology reports, the investigation into MJ's death could turn into a criminal probe: "Based on those, we will have an idea of what it is we are dealing [with]: Are we dealing with a homicide or are we dealing with an accidental overdose?" says LAPD chief William Bratton.
Our long national nightmare has nearly come to an end! After a winter fraught with concerns for the future of the program, the premiere of the third season of Mad Men on AMC is now but a scant 37 days away. And, as you might expect, advertisers are lining up in droves to try to associate themselves with the aura of coolness that Don Draper radiates. Two of the biggest promotional partners helping to increase awareness of the program will be Banana Republic and Clorox; the former will be selling a line that echoes the style of suits that the Sterling Cooper crew wears, while the latter has created an advertisement that shows the effectiveness of their product in removing lipstick from shirt collars. Yes, that's right, the normally family-friendly Clorox brand is going to be running a series of spots that features the tagline, "Getting ad guys out of hot water for generations." Cheeky! That said, we'll do our darndest to look past questionable branding initiatives if it keeps those extra two (formerly non-profitable) minutes of Mad Men in each episode.
Photo-illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty
Images, Courtesy of DC Comics
Ain't It Cool News reported it as rumor yesterday, and now The Hollywood Reporter confirms it: Dick-gifting pop star Justin Timberlake is on the short list of actors being considered by Warner Bros. to play Hal Jordan in next December's Green Lantern movie (also up for the part: Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper). THR says the studio let its holding deal with the trio expire on Monday, which means they're free to accept other acting offers, and also probably that WB is as enthusiastic about these three options as we are. So far, the geek reaction to JT's potential casting has been predictably negative, but we'll give him credit — his acting was not the worst part of The Love Guru, Southland Tales, or Black Snake Moan.
Yes, you read that right. David Arquette apparently fancies himself a junior David Blaine, as he'll be spending next Tuesday and Wednesday in a box above Madison Square Garden in an attempt to raise money for domestic hunger-relief efforts. However, there is a catch: He'll only be spending eight hours each day in said box. Oh yeah, and he'll be eating, too. This perplexes us to no end. [HuffPo]
Photo-illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos:Getty
Images, istockphoto
New Beaver: First it was Steve Carell, then it was Jim Carrey, and now it's Mel Gibson attached to star in The Beaver, the comedy from Black List–topping screenwriter Kyle Killen (see our review of the script here). Gibson will play a depressed toy-company CEO who starts communicating with, and through, a beaver puppet he wears on his hand with Jodie Foster — pardon us, The Beaver director Jodie Foster — playing his wife. Sounds weird, we know, but the last time we saw Gibson and Foster work together was Maverick, and that turned out pretty goddamned well for everybody. [Variety]
Queen Bee: Nicole Kidman will produce and star in Little Bee, an adaptation of the Chris Cleave novel. The book revolves around an incident on an African beach, in which a 16-year-old Nigerian orphan named Little Bee runs into a vacationing British couple who have wandered off the grounds of their resort. Smart money is that Kidman will play the wife in the couple, but here's hoping Kidman will do some range-flexing as the title character. [Variety]
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Nine
Did You Hear About the Morgans? Premiere
A Little Night Music Opening
Premiere of It’s Complicated
VEVO Launch Party
Doctor Parnassus Screening
Eight Year-End Films Vie for Oscar Contention
Sondheim and Lansbury on a Lifetime in Theater
The Black Keys Release Their Hip-hop Debut 
How the BQE Became an Artistic Muse
