Photo-illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images

You might recall that Paris Hilton recently took the stand in her own defense after being sued for $8.3 million for allegedly failing to do her best to promote a straight-to-DVD feature, National Lampoon's Pledge This. Apparently, her totally awesome testimony ("I'm not sure what a producer does, but — I don't know, help get cool people in the cast") sufficiently wooed U.S. District Judge Federico Moreno, who ruled that she is not liable for those damages in Miami federal court yesterday. We can hardly wait for the inevitable ticker-tape parade. [AP]