Last night, Conan introduced a bit by telling his audience, "Of course, everybody right now is talking about the biggest scandal in the country, involving a late-night host. Accusations are flying. It's getting really nasty. All of America is gripped by this story … that's right, I'm talking about my feud with the mayor of Newark, New Jersey." And you know what? If not for Letterman's admitted affairs and alleged extortion, maybe we would be talking about this awesome Conan versus Cory Booker battle. So let's talk about it, shall we?

Since you're probably not watching, we'll summarize: It started when Booker responded to Conan's slagging of Newark in a monologue joke ("The mayor … wants to set up a citywide program to improve residents' health. The health-care program would consist of a bus ticket out of Newark") by banning O'Brien from Newark Airport. Then, after a few sharp back-and-forths, Conan wound up banned from New Jersey altogether.

Which brings us to last night's segment! Apparently, the mayor of Newark's neighbor Elizabeth, New Jersey, Christian Bollwage, has broken rank and offered Conan safe haven. This prompted Conan to declare, "Mayor Booker, now that I've established a beachhead, I'm going to begin my campaign to surround and crush you — I'll do it by shamelessly sucking up to your municipalities … [including] Jersey City, home of the Holland Motor Lounge, which Hotels.com user Chris P. described as having 'a good location.' Way to go, Jersey City!"

Isn't it a little sad that Conan's finding his Tonight Show footing while nobody's paying attention? Is he just more comfortable while Letterman is the main focus? Who cares! More Booker slams, please.

Here's video from last night: