After much deliberating and slapping with fish, your Vulture editors have finally selected a victor. Congratulations are due this morning to NYMag.com commenter Josiestherapist, the winner of our intensely competitive Monty Python haiku contest. Tomorrow night, Josiestherapist will attend the Manhattan premiere of the new, New York–approved documentary Monty Python: Almost the Truth (The Lawyer's Cut), which will be followed with a rare appearance by all six Pythons (even, reportedly, the one who died in 1989, somehow). Here's the winning poem:

Loony customer
attempts to con pet shop clerk.
Let the parrot sleep!

Thanks to all who entered!