After idly watching Paranormal Activity become the new movie people talk about when they talk about enormously successful low-budget movies, the guys behind The Blair Witch Project have decided to get the Handycam out of storage. Eduardo Sánchez and Daniel Myrick are currently pitching a script for Blair Witch 3 to Lionsgate, which owns the film's rights. Their script picks up after the first movie with the original cast members playing small roles. Blair Witch 2, which neither was involved with, is ignored.
"I should go back and kind of milk this one more time." 
Photo: Courtesy of Showtime
“This place is toxic,” announces Karen with finality, and Hank breaks into a grin: They’re going back to New York. Or are they? By the end of this packed episode, Becca will have thrown a tantrum about it — “New York doesn’t mean shit to me. It isn’t the answer to anything!” — Karen will have figured out who Hank is sleeping with, lied to him about who she’s sleeping with, and both of them will have had an ugly scene with the drunken parents of Becca’s best friend. So there’s ample evidence to support the “toxic” theory.
"Yes, Rick Springfield, yes, yes!" 
This weekend, as the rest of the city was fighting off Halloween hangovers, and 40,000 really ambitious folks were running 26 miles, Vulture was trying to recover from two straight days of shuffling around the backstage gifting lounge and press room at Madison Square Garden for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s 25th Anniversary concerts. We've already told you what happened onstage on Night 1 and Night 2. Here's what you missed offstage.
Bono! Tom Morello! Fergie! Mick Jagger! Tom Hanks! Mark-Paul Gosselaar! 
Photo: Courtesy of Showtime
A shocking development: Harry Morgan doesn’t show up once. But with Dexter more obsessed than the average viewer about things like whether the Trinity Killer keeps souvenirs and whether his love for his family is real or carefully crafted camouflage, this episode’s big revelations about Trinity don’t seem as significant as they should.
Trinity enjoys a hot bath. 
The lesbians who have given Ray's jerking off "new meaning" went AWOL. Ray knows next to nothing about the potential mothers of his children, but he and Jonathan learn where they live by way of their Park Slope Co-op membership card. Ray and Jonathan break into the couple's empty apartment only to find that the ladies aren't breeding — they're selling Ray's seed on the black market! Armed with an Excel spreadsheet of semen customers, the duo sets out on a wild, gay goose chase to find the lesbians, but all they track down is a series of angry women who've been duped by Ray's useless ejaculate. Sigh. Jonathan's attempts to produce more than one line of text for his next novel have proven fruitless; Ray's sperm has failed to produce a viable zygote. Jonathan meets up with George at a dingy Flatiron bar. Wouldn't you know it, George's nemesis, the GQ editor, is tossing back a few with a Slate book critic (played by John Hodgman) who panned Jonathan's last book. They proceed to hurl rumors about Edition's imminent demise and its massive ad-page shrinkage. George retaliates with an excoriating editor's letter about Mr. GQ. The tabloidy mudslinging culminates in an agreement to take things into a real-life boxing ring. The good-news-bad-news ending to “The Case of the Stolen Sperm” is that yes, one of the women was actually able to conceive, but no, she wants nothing to do with the schlubby daddy. A glimmer of hope comes from the baby mama's partner (Samantha Bee), who whispers to a distraught Ray: “Find me on Facebook.”
Dubiously healthy Kombucha: Plus 1. 
"Matt Damon's moustache is made of synthetic fiber. He can not grow a moustache." —George Clooney [Access Hollywood]
“The nude scenes never felt magical. They felt like a pain in the arse. I think I should have just had one big nude day. Wouldn’t that have been a good idea? Then I could have got it all over and done with, which would have been good. Those scenes were an unnecessary evil. I did exactly as I was told so we could get them done as quickly as possible and get on with the rest of the day.” —Eric Bana on shooting The Time Traveler's Wife [Sydney Morning Herald]
Plus: Robert Pattinson on his limitations. 
There are some things that we, as a society, hold up as immutable truths: The sun will come up tomorrow, two plus two equals four, and Robert Pattinson is the hunkiest piece of British vampire meat who's ever been born. However, after reading the preview of the new Vanity Fair cover story on Robert Pattinson who cares that he's barely in the new movie! earlier this morning, we found ourselves rocked to the core when we discovered that the producers of the first Twilight film were not entirely convinced that Pattinson was dreamy enough to inhabit the sparkle-chested character of Edward Cullen. Even more upsetting? Pattinson himself didn't want to take his shirt off during his audition with Kristen Stewart and director Catherine Hardwicke!
"My cinematographer is great with lighting. He will study the cheekbones, and I promise you, we’ll make the guy look good." 
Last week, Ugly Betty warned us of the perils of jealousy; this episode, the show celebrates the pleasures of honesty. So what do we know about truth? It hurts. It sets you free. It leads to awkward interactions with supermodels (see below).
"As much as I love giant wieners flying at me, this is a little outside my comfort zone." 
You may know Devendra Banhart as the hirsute dude who briefly dated Natalie Portman, but the 27-year-old Californian is a seriously gifted (and slightly eccentric) singer-songwriter who’s released six records of wonderfully experimental folk-rock. This month, he returns with What Will We Be, his first album for major-label Warner Bros. Vulture caught up with Banhart to talk about recording in a remote area of Northern California and his favorite songs of the decade.
"That's a tough question. You just threw up in my face." 
Considering the last two weeks, which have featured silly plotlines revolving around belly flab and Christian Slater’s penchant for caviar, this funny and focused episode is a welcome return to form. Although we couldn’t help but notice that the main story line — a peripheral character having a heart attack after being insulted by a main character on a golf course — appeared on Entourage a couple of seasons ago. (We confess: We once watched Entourage. We’re not proud of it.) We’ll let it go this one time. On to the outrageous moments ...
In praise of Derek Jeter. 
Last week, Joan bashed the bad doctor over the head with a vase and reconnected with Roger, while Betty and Don had the epic face-off we'd all been anticipating. This week, the second-to-last episode of the season sets up the finale with a bang. But don't worry — Don says "everything's going to be fine."
"He was so handsome, and I'll never get to vote for him." 
Two-Hour Viagra Commercial: Warner Bros. has picked up an untitled comedy from writers Josh Cagan and Greg Coolidge with Morgan Freeman attached to star. The script, which has the working title Dirty Old Men, is about an old playboy who meets the love of his life. His wingman of 40 years (Freeman) is not too keen on this development and tries to break up the new couple. Warner Bros. is hoping to snag Jack Nicholson to star as the playboy, reuniting the duo from your grandpa's favorite movie of 2007, The Bucket List. [HR]
Class Reunion: Katie Holmes is set to replace Liv Tyler in The Romantics, an independent film about eight college friends who reunite for a wedding. Holmes will play Laura, the maid of honor to the bride played by Anna Paquin. The film also includes Josh Duhamel, Malin Akerman, Elijah Wood, Adam Brody, Jeremy Strong, and an album's worth of Feist songs. [Variety]
Plus: Julia Roberts! 'Roger Rabbit' Part Deux! 