In the five days since Beanie Sigel attacked Jay-Z, his former Roc-a-Fella boss, pal, and sugar daddy, Hova has, for the most part, remained quietly above the fray. But 50 Cent hasn't! Despite having no real connection at all to the drama, 50 altruistically came to Beanie's defense yesterday during a joint radio interview on Philadelphia’s Power 99. Also — and this is probably completely unrelated — 50's new album, Before I Self Destruct, is out next week.
So what's Beanie's problem? 
With The New Yorker's Anthony Lane and this magazine's David Edelstein already bucking critical status quo with mixed-negative assessments of Lee Daniels' Oscar-contending, Oprah-endorsed Precious, famed New York Press contrarian Armond White must've known he had his work cut out for him. His review went up this afternoon, though, and it does not disappoint!
"Shame on Tyer Perry and Oprah Winfrey," he begins:
"They’ve piggybacked their reps as black success stories hoping to camouflage Precious’ con job—even though it’s more scandalous than their own upliftment trade. Perry and Winfrey naively treat Precious’ exhibition of ghetto tragedy and female disempowerment as if it were raw truth. It helps contrast and highlight their achievements as black American paradigms—self-respect be damned."
"Not since The Birth of a Nation has a mainstream movie demeaned the idea of black American life as much as Precious." 
Bahman Ghobadi's No One Knows About Persian Cats.Photo: Courtesy of AFP
While the first annual Doha-Tribeca Film Festival — held this past weekend in the Persian Gulf nation of Qatar and organized in part by Tribeca Enterprises — displayed a reasonably broad range of work from all over the globe, we were most intrigued by its spotlight on films from Middle Eastern directors. The region has been experiencing a filmmaking renaissance of sorts in recent years. (To be fair, “Middle Eastern” means a lot of things to a lot of different people: Some of these filmmakers were Westerners with roots in the Arab world.)
Devastating portrait of a young city bursting with inspiration, creative longing, and danger. 
"I do have a few wigs, actually. And sometimes I grow my facial hair out. I wanted to walk around Comic-Con this year, so I dressed kinda homeless. But someone recognized me and posted it online. I was like, 'Thanks. Now I can't wear that again.'" —Twilight's Kellan Lutz [Nylon via PopSugar]
"As much as it has to be funny, you also want to help educate my generation or the generation after me that might not know the importance of the unity of the Berlin Wall when coming down — how it really affected people's lives." —Katy Perry on why she's hosting the MTV Europe Awards [AP via Yahoo]
Plus: Even Jemaine Clement has feelings. 
Last month, Woody Allen explained in an interview how to tell whether one of his movies is good or bad simply from its title: "If I look at the film and it's no good, I don't like to give it an aggressive title, I give it ... the kind of title that is low-key and promises nothing, so people are less disappointed by it". Shortly after, he announced that his next film would be called You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. We ran into him last night at the Martin Scorsese–hosted screening of The Red Shoes at the DGA Theater, and asked him what Stranger's name portended. "Well, that was a very aggressive title, so you can hope that it's a good movie," he told us. "If I didn't think it was a good film, I would give it a quiet one-word title to deflect attention from it — so now you know the secret."
"I am the least expensive and the nicest person to work with." 
Is there anything more exciting than a sci-fi reimagining? You get all the tingly nostalgia of a beloved show from your youth (Battlestar Galactica), but souped-up with slick effects, superior acting, and all-grown-up allegorical resonances (Battlestar Galactica). You can have your nerdcake and eat it, too!
That said, the new V is no nerdcake.
The Visitors are ... Canadians? 
On ABC's reimagined V, which premiered last night, Scott Wolf stars as Chad Decker, a reporter who comes face-to-face with deceptively kind aliens. Wolf spoke with Vulture yesterday about the new show, the original one, and why this former Bailey Salinger is glad he's not one of today's teen heartthrobs.
"Anna and Chad are both people who seduce people to get what they need." 
As the Romans Do: Gerard Butler has joined Ralph Fiennes, William Hurt and Vanessa Redgrave in Fiennes's directorial debut, Coriolanus. The movie is set in contemporary times but based on Shakespeare's Roman political drama. Fiennes reportedly hired Butler because the 300 star already owns a pair of mandals. [THR]
Boner Champ: Sigourney Weaver, John C. Reilly and Alia Shawkat have signed up for the comedy Cedar Rapids, starring Ed Helms and Anne Heche. The lead role is in Helms' wheelhouse: he plays a small-town insurance salesman (might as well be a paper salesman) who, after his role model dies, has to attend a conference in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, where his mind is blown by the big city. Just wait until he sees Scranton! [Variety]
Plus: Helen Mirren! The Berenstain Bears! Kirstie Alley! 