last night's gig

Jon Bon Jovi’s Private Cougar Concert

Jon Bon Jovi did a private acoustic concert Monday night for American Express card members at Alice Tully Hall, and we’re pretty sure your mom was there. When it came to the question-and-answer portion of the night, we found ourselves slumping down in our seats, as if we could hide from the blunt declarations of love flying at the hunky 47-year-old rock star from his many randy mature-lady fans.

Musically, it was a fantastic night, with Bon Jovi, accompanied by steel guitar, keyboard, and violin, taking on “Livin’ On a Prayer” (see it on YouTube!), “Superman Tonight,” “Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night,” “We Weren’t Born to Follow,” “Who Says You Can’t Go Home,” and “Hallelujah,” which got a standing ovation.

In between songs, Bon Jovi talked with Phil Griffin, director of the Bon Jovi documentary When We Were Beautiful, about boring-ish minutia like having the most No. 1 singles of any band in Japan: “You know how every band says they are big in Japan? Well, WE REALLY ARE!” But things got interesting when the ladies had a chance to say their piece. See if you can spot which one is your mom.

• The first two ladies who got up and gushed about how much they loved Bon Jovi and how he had changed their lives and how he was always there for them, unlike their husbands, and prompted Griffin to ask that someone, anyone, actually ask a question.

• The one who said her friends call her “the female version of you” because she’s so stressed out. And, when Bon Jovi mentioned he has a vein that pops out on his forehead, she blurted out, “I have that vein, too! I have it!”

• The many women who seemed genuinely turned on by this exchange:

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Lady: “You are my happy place. I want to know, what is your happy place?”
Bon Jovi: “I love it when women talk about their happy place.”

• The one who said this: “Hi Jon, my name is Grace, and I’m about to throw up. I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry, but I’ve already cried! Thank you for all the music, for all the years. I actually think we should thank your wife for sharing you with all of us.” She started getting choked up, then asked a valid question: “I know we say a girl should grow up and marry a guy like her dad. So do you want Stephanie to grow up and marry a guy like you?”

Bon Jovi’s answer? “If some kid came by and said, ‘I’m going to be in a rock and roll band, and by the way, I’m going to support your daughter,’ [I’d think] then what, would I have to support him, too? But I would never stifle a kid’s dream, as long as he treated my daughter as well as I treat my wife. [After all, her father took] a chance on me, because I had no job, no future, no college ahead. Nothing. And he looked at me and said, ‘Just do the right thing.’ I guess I did the right thing … Christ, I want to throw up now. My daughter’s getting married to some rocker! I was having a good time until this Q&A.”

• Or perhaps this one: “Hi Jon, how are you? My name is Lisa, and I have to start off by saying I’m sorry, because in October of 1986, I kind of blew you off at the Stone Pony because you were trying to talk to me. I didn’t know who you were! I’ve never lived it down, to this day. So I never officially got to say I’m sorry, but my guido boyfriend pulled me away from you. So, I’m sorry.”

Bon Jovi’s response? “There’s a lot of girls in high school who every Christmas, their mother slaps them: ‘You coulda had him!’”

Jon Bon Jovi’s Private Cougar Concert