With Conan’s severance package set and his last Tonight Show just hours away, and Jay Leno poised to return to his life’s work — making sure 11:30pm is free for humor that Rick Dees would deem “too on the nose” — it’s clear just who lost in this whole debacle. (Wait, is “comedy” a who or a what?) But who came out a winner in all this? Here are an even dozen who should thank Jeff Zucker personally … though we recommend they don’t do it in person, as we hear the bad judgment he breathes is hard to get out of your clothing.
Related: Bill Simmons, ‘the Sports Guy,’ Saw Talkshowgate Coming, and Now He’s Got Advice for Conan
Along with reporters from TMZ, the Wrap, and Deadline Hollywood Daily, the Times’ Bill Carter provided breaking, entertaining coverage of NBC’s bad past couple of weeks, both in print and on NYTimes.com’s Media Decoder blog. But Carter, author of 1996’s best-selling history of the last late-night blowup, The Late Shift, had the foresight to begin writing a book on late night last summer, with a tentative publish date of Fall 2010, right around the time when Conan’s new show should be debuting.
According to NBC, The Jay Leno Show’s ratings were what they’d expected; the reason they pulled it from prime time was to avoid a full-on revolt from their restless and angry affiliates. So where will the network’s newly empowered local broadcasters direct their fury next? Maybe they can kill off a couple of characters on Heroes.
His Law & Order and Law & Order: SVU floundered Fridays at 8 and Wednesdays at 9, where they were pushed to make way for Leno at 10. Now, not only will both be returned to their old time slots, but Wolf is also getting a new L.A.-based L&O spinoff that will inevitably take the place of whichever of these shows affiliates hate the most.
Jay’s move to prime time last year helped him retake the lead from The Tonight Show for the first time in fifteen years. Conan’s exit means he’ll now compete against a wounded Leno, who’s pretty much the only person still talking about Dave’s sex scandal.
If NBC’s gamble with Leno at 10 had actually paid off, the oldsters who run ABC, CBS, and Fox might’ve looked fusty and conservative for sticking with the same-old news magazines and scripted drama while television’s traditional business model collapses. Now they just look smart.
Remember when everybody thought the Peacock’s problems would get better after Ben Silverman left? Hilariously, Ben Silverman’s the one who’s better off. Though his inability to fill prime time with watchable TV helped necessitate Leno’s 10 p.m. show, he’s somehow escaped most of the blame for late night’s implosion — his only recent press attention has been for his engagement and his new company’s deal making.
Mired in third place behind CBS and NBC, Kimmel took advantage of the ruckus and was able to get himself the kind of attention he hasn’t seen since the days of fucking Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. First, he made waves and earned Vulture hero status by filming an entire show in full Jay Leno makeup. And if that weren’t awesome enough, he used satellite technology to thoroughly eviscerate Leno on Jay’s own show, resulting in one of television’s most cringe-inducing interviews since Howard Stern tore apart Magic Johnson on The Magic Hour.
The butt of virtually every single late-night joke during the month of December has to be thrilled that all this in-fighting has (mostly) gotten his name out of the monologues. And that’s even after word surfaced that he entered a sex-rehab clinic in Mississippi, of all places.
While he may have a significantly smaller audience (and budget) than any of the network late-night shows, he has demonstrated that there is significant value to staying on basic cable. Namely, he is able to retain full creative control and he doesn’t have to deal with the likes of Jeff Zucker.
Traditionally, January is the month when Oscar bloggers reap all of the headlines (and page views), while bloggers on the TV beat are left to fight over Bachelor scraps. However, when you combine the late-night imbroglio with all of the recent shakeups at American Idol, there’s no denying that homebound, small-screen pontificators everywhere are having the best month ever.
ESPN’s Sports Guy hasn’t been so hot with his NFL picks this year, but the former Jimmy Kimmel Live! writer proved that he’s still solidly in the late-night loop when he broke the news of Conan’s last day on Twitter. Even more impressive? He correctly predicted exactly how all of this would go down way back in March 2009.
Even though his Conan O’Brien impression on the Kimmel show bombed something fierce, the talkshowpocalypse has granted him the opportunity that he’s been waiting for since 1993: to pass along the mantle of “Worst Late-Night Talk Show Ever” to Jay Leno.
