True Blood
The groundwork for an epic showdown is in place, with this week’s cliff-hanger of an ending. And if everyone was on point this episode — from Pam’s killer one-liners, to Jessica potentially taking one for the team, to Tara throwing her hat into the ring of what could turn out to be the enemy — all pales in comparison to the golden orbs of Alexander Skarsgard’s ass. It really stole the show.
The Bitch Is Back
Marnie’s still in prison, but something’s off — her Spanish is fabulous and Luis, last seen in the midst of flashback rape, is now under her control. Luis kills Katie the traitor, spilling no blood. Antonia Gravilan of Logrono has returned!
Bill decants some blood into a brandy snifter when Luis the Possessed enters the room. He’s come to deliver a message from Antonia. She’s ba-ack! “All things are possible,” he intones, and then shoots BIll. The King is about to stake Luis, but he stakes himself instead, whispering “Resurrection.”
Bill the Service-y lays it out yet again for Jessica: Antonia is a mean old necromancer from back in the day who is the only human ever to wield power over vampires. Now she’s back, using Marnie’s body as a vessel, and wants to finish what she started in 1610. Luis mentioned the Resurrection, which means tonight is the night. He instructs his sheriffs thusly: Everyone must go to ground tied up in silver today, so as not to be called to meet the sun.
I Called the Witch Doctor, and This Is What He Said
In Mexico, Lala and Jesus wait for Abuelito, who’s too busy doing his wife to tend to his grandson. It’s time for them to go home because their mission has been accomplished. Lafayette knows about his gift — he’s a medium. This is not news to Jesus or Abuelito, but no matter. This entire south-of-the-border fiasco was to show Lafayette who he really is. “You have the magic,” Abuelito says, throwing the keys back to Lala. Gracias, Abuelito. You’re a peach. On the way home, Jesus tries to stress the importance of Lafayette’s gift, but Lala’s not sure he wants to be on call to the spirit world.
Tara needs support from the coven so Marnie can exact her revenge. Holly is a wary recruit — her house burned down, and she needs to get get back on her feet. Tara’s awfully persuasive. It doesn’t take much until the original circle is united once more.
Arlene and Bad Baby are at work, watching over Holly’s date with Andy, who’s all dressed up. The date isn’t going so hot — Holly’s trying to make the best of it, despite Andy’s V-induced delirium tremens. When Holly asks if he’s okay, he bolts.
Lala’s back in the kitchen at Merlotte’s, playing peek-a-boo with Bad Baby. Bad Baby’s got his eye on someone else, though — the lady from underneath the tree. Putting a finger to her lips, she shushes Lafayette and starts singing in French. Lafayette’s yell scares Arlene, and the woman is gone.
We Can Do It Anywhere
Eric and Sookie continue their sex-a-thon, having fucked their way from the bayou to the foyer, living room, and bedroom, where they finally come to rest. Time for some pillow talk. Sookie wants Gentle Eric to remember again, despite his misdeeds. Inner turmoil strikes Ms. Stackhouse, as she starts to realize the duality of Big Baby Eric. Will she be able to love him when he’s back to his old self?
Bill shows up at Sookie’s house to bring the bad news. Sookie thanks her ex-boyfriend for letting Eric go, but Bill has other things to discuss — Eric needs to come with him, lest he rise under the influence of Marnie to meet his fiery death. BIll upends a bag full of silver chains onto the coffee table. If Sookie really loves Eric, she’ll silver him to his bed tonight.
Don’t You Forget About Me
NachoFace Pam is angry, and ready to kill, starting with Tara’s “piece of yellow tail.” Tara and her girl aren’t going down without a fight. Naomi puts her MMA skills to use, but she’s no match. Pam has Tara by the throat, but they have an audience. “TMZ’s gonna love this,” crows a woman in the crowd. “Is she a zombie?” Pam vows to kill Tara by hook or by crook, and then she’s gone.
Pam is being restored to her former glory in Fangtasia by the gentle hands of the same lady who fixed up Sookie’s maenad scratch in season two. As she rips what looks like sheets of puff pastry off Pam, she informs her that this will take care of her visage, but she’ll be rotting internally until she finally expires. She’ll need six shots four times a day for eternity to keep up appearances.
Naomi and Tara are planning their escape in the car, but Tara doesn’t see the point. Everyone she’s ever loved has died, so she wants to spare Naomi that fate. Naomi’s simpering doesn’t win Tara over, so she gets out of the car, commands her to drive, and then she’s off, while Tara keens in the parking lot, as usual.
As Tara halfheartedly hitchhikes, she runs into Marnie. She has a proposition for Tara. Both have suffered greatly at the hands of vampires. In case Tara’s memory of her time as Franklin’s plaything isn’t enough, Marnie grabs her wrist and shows her what she’s been going through: Priest rape. Burning pyre. Tara is picking up what Marnie’s putting down. She’s ready to fight.
Heartbreak Hotel
Jason’s trying to shake his lingering feelings for Jessica via a series of complicated calisthenics. There’s a knock at the door — it’s Hoyt concerned for his best friend, who’s the victim of rape and a botched were-panther transformation. Hoyt’s not having the best of days either — he’s worried about Jessica, who seems to be slipping away. Jason’s not interested in discussing this, so he’s off to the kitchen. Homemade Sloppy Joes will solve everything.
Hey, Jealousy
Alcide and Debbie are getting inducted into their new pack, amid much howling and animal blood. Debbie’s in her element, but Alcide looks pensive. He’s thinking about Sookie again, which is exactly what he shouldn’t be thinking about. His mood is ruining things, so Debbie concedes to ten minutes to search for Sookie. Trudging through the Bayou, Alcide picks up her scent, which leads him to the Ravaging By the Shore, or Eric and Snookie making the beast with two backs.
Alcide and Debbie’s intimate evening is interrupted by Debbie’s inability to perform. All she can think about is Sookie and the fact that Alcide might still be in love with her. He reassures Deb that he’s done with Sooks, but I’m not so sure.
Touched for the Very First Time
Having found Tommy passed out in a puddle of bloody vomit, Sam rushed him to the hospital like a good big brother. Unfortunately, modern medicine can’t cure what he’s got. After reassuring the doctor that high temperatures run in the family, the Brothers Mickens take their leave.
Sam gives Luna a call, but she’s irate and he can’t figure out why. Sam’s persistence brings him to her work, where they can hash it out in person. He doesn’t remember anything she confronts him with, including sleeping with her and kicking her out. The lightbulb goes off for both parties at the same time: Tommy’s high fever, his vomiting blood. Baby’s first skinwalk. This bodes very poorly for Tommy, who has made a fool of Sam for the last time. Sam gives him ten minutes to leave. “I wish I could forget every fuckin’ thing about you,” growls Sam. Watch out Bon Temps — you might have pissed off the wrong shifter.
You Could Be My Silver Springs
Everyone’s on lockdown as bedtime approaches. At Bill’s house, armed guards silver Jessica and Bill. In the basement of Fangtasia, NachoFace Pam, who, being honest, now resembles chicken-apple sausage more than nachos, gets her shots administered by my second favorite character, Ginger. Her coffin is pink, satin-lined, and amazing. She gets tucked in under a blanket of silver. In Eric’s cubby, Sookie silvers him while whispering sweet nothings and curling up next to him to wait it out.
Jessica and Bill are in pain, awake, and suffering from the bleeds. No better time to have a heart-to-heart about Jessica’s on-the-skids relationship. Bill gives some good advice: falling out of love doesn’t mean you lose your humanity.
Eric’s going through the same thing, but Sookie’s right there beside him. Eric wants the silver off. Sookie refuses — she’d never forgive herself if she let him meet his death. Gentle Eric doesn’t want to be remembered this way, but Sookie doesn’t mind. This is the second time he’s put himself on the line for her, and he knows that he’s been a bad man in the past. He’s embracing amnesia, and ready to love her this way, forever.
Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board
The coven gathers in Moon Goddess Emporium. Marnie’s newfound powers allow her to make really dramatic entrances. She’s changed her outfit, and she’s ready to rally for humanity. After a couple of people leave, Marnie smiles at her remaining supporters. Time to show the vampires the strength and power of the human spirit, seventeenth-century style.
The coven’s really getting busy now. The Latin flows freely, and then, with a stiff wind and a follow spot trained right on Marnie’s face, up she goes, levitating happily in the middle.
Jason’s back in uniform and off to Sookie’s to explain that he hasn’t turned into a were-panther, but there’s no time for that. Like a tornado, the witch spell is blowing into town. There’s no time! Sookie sprints to the basement to tend to Eric, while Jason sprints for Jessica.
Marnie continues to levitate. Pam’s coffin shakes like a mechanical bull, with Ginger as an unwitting rider. Jessica, Bill, and Eric scream from their respective beds about the sun. As Maxine waters her flowers, her neighbor walks out of the house in curlers and promptly bursts into flames.
Marnie’s spell is working like gangbusters, and our youngest vamp falls prey to it almost immediately. Jessica manages to get out of her chains, kills Bucky the guard, and lets herself out.
She makes her way to the foyer, vision blurry, crawling toward the front door. Jess breaks through the paltry two locks and throws open the french doors. “The sun!” she exclaims.
