Despite a reality index that fell onto the real side, the fans felt there was much lacking in “The Big Sleep No More.” A week that lacked Prince Louis (making everyone happy) brought back a scheming Blair who was more determined than we’ve seen her in a long time; Blair may be a master manipulator, but she wasn’t fooling any of us when it came to her need to prove Chuck was a bad person. Let’s face it, nothing gets past Dorota! With Serena still having writer’s block, she resorted to a topic she felt much more familiar with, snagging a date; Chivy’s ex was just a little too much of a coincidence. Then again, this is Gossip Girl we’re talking about — the same show that felt it was remotely believable for Nate to carry a briefcase. As Chuck continued his quest to become a better Bass and Dan fell off the map, the commenters provided us with food for thought. On to this week’s recap of the recap.
More Real Than a Dan Humphrey Pity Party
• “Did anyone else notice that to feed the ducks B used organic artisan bread that was probably bought at dean and deluca or something– not the 2 dollar plain white bread I used to use. +5.” —jodord01
• “Of course Nate is anxious to be exclusive with Elizabeth Hurley. Keeping track of even one person other than himself is hard, you guys. Plus 5.” —PurpleandGreen
• “Plus 5 for Chuck’s wry smile when Cougarwoman came to carry Nate off in her claws. I love how these two live vicariously through one another’s sexual escapades.” —Ninotshka
• “+20 for Blair chasing down the kiss she wanted last week in the most convoluted way possible.” —Anunkindravenbass
• “Serena assuming that she’s currently suffering from writer’s block. Oh sweet baby Cheesus. Ignorance is bliss - at least for Serena. +10.” —LN11
• “When speaking to Dan who was in “Vermont”, right before he hangs up, Rufus asks him to bring home some maple syrup. Even in conversations with his kids, he can’t stop thinking about his waffles. +5.” —jfer21
• “Blair calling Chuck’s charitableness “fauxlanthropy.” +10.” —GossipMom
• “+ 5 for Chivey realizing that she would have to resort to baby oiling her ta-tas in order to compete with Serena’s cleave. Seriously, it looked like she was trying to shoot a music video.” —amandakatarina
• “Skype waffles! +5, and +2 for Jenny’s not being invited.” —DUDEIMCHUCKBASS
• “+ 10 for Blair blaming her lack of chemistry with Louis on Chuck. Everyone needs someone to blame! .” —MrsDexterHaven
• “Rufus has nothing better to do than stalk his own son. Plus 5.” —GipsyQueen
• “+100: Of course Nate’s grandfather thinks the only way to rehabilitate Nate’s reputation is by forcing him to sleep with an old woman. After all, the last time Nate was interesting was when he was banging a cougar. And every future politician needs a sex scandal. This generation’s will come out first before their policies.” —ldcluna
• “+3 for referencing the Treaty of 2010. Glad to see not every plot line has been forgotten.” —southerncomfort
Faker Than Nate Referencing Lady Macbeth
• “Why does Grandfather care about Serena? Is this some revenge plot because of what happened with Tripp? -20.” —grumpygoddess
• “Ivy’s boyfriend doesn’t know the first thing about NY geography, society, or dressing for an interview with culinary royalty, yet gets GG blasts on his phone. Whatever. Minus 4.” —Classof2008
• “-5 for the fact I was so taken off guard to see Chuck eating candy that I couldn’t even process the kiss.” —LILBTHEBASSGOD
• “-30 for the first person a random working-class transplant from LA to run into being Serena Van der Woodsen. Nyc’s it girl and socialite.” —Bookles
• “This episode was so boring that I dozed off in the first ten minutes. Minus 50 for the fact I thought “Sleep No More” was actually direct command from the CW begging me to wake up and give the storyline a second chance.” —belladonna86
• “Blair’s scheming, along with her hair, have fallen to such a level of heinous mediocrity it honestly hurts me. Minus 8.” —NOTENOUGH
• “Also, minus 5 for Blair not realizing that when she fell in love with the only man comfortable wearing a steady wardrobe of lavender, violet, and aubergine, she was already dating royalty.” —brooklyn_for_life
• “Nate mentions something about Macbeth to Chuck as if Nate knows what he’s talking about. We all know Nate has never read a book with out pictures in it. Minus 3.” —KTrain909
• “I must’ve missed the moment when Blair was bestowed the title of Duchess of Really Ugly Hats. But clearly, she’s owning the position. Minus 5.” —blondephoenixrising
• “The limo, the gravelly voice, the old-man hand, the scotch—for a second there, I thought Bart Bass had returned from the dead. But he didn’t. Minus 5 for getting my hopes up.” —brandie_larue
• “-10 for “I’ve decided to make my own decisions instead of letting everybody else pull my strings.” Oh, Nate, this was adorable when you said basically the exact same thing in S1. But at a certain point, you have accept that decisions just aren’t your thing. Just be the pretty man-puppet that you are.” —alliec
• “Oh, Nate got a briefcase! I guess his backpack isn’t ‘professional’ enough anymore to carry around video games and weed.” -5.” —ChanandelorBong
• “-100 for ignoring B’s birthday, that is usually a milestone mark in every season.” —fancyonlife
